this must be the place

I wake up on a cloud some mornings, completely in love with Korea. Those days I never want to leave. Other mornings the most optimistic I can get is to just hope for that feeling to please come back, like it always does, out of nowhere, from causes I can't pinpoint. So elusive, that feeling. After the events of the past few weeks, I have a feeling it's not coming back.

My school has inadvertently given me the sign I was looking for, and so when a couple of girl friends from home invited me to join them on a cruise in early January, I said to myself (and to them), "Hell yes, that is precisely what I need."

So I will be in America for the holidays, and I will at least halfway-seriously be looking for a way to make a life there after the cruise, when I get home. If I round up, I'll be a reappointed American girl in ten weeks, back where I belong again.

America America AmericaAmericaamericaamericamerica

So bipolar in my homesickness. In other news, I just finished recovering from a long and eventful four-and-a half-day weekend for Chuseok - that's only one of two Korean national holidays, pretty big deal. On Friday I went to Everland, the country's biggest theme park. Here are the highlights:

-Foreigners get a discount, just for being foreign.

-Face painting. A rainbow butterfly covering half my face. Lots of stares. No regrets. Nothing else can make you feel like a kid again quite so easily.



-Halloween themed rides. Korea loves its 3D/4D/5D rides. (There's a 4D roller coaster simulator right next door to my favorite coffee shop in town, and there was a 5D horror show at the 63 Building this weekend - more on that below.)

-America Land with streets that brought me back home for the short time I strolled through them.

-Zootopia. My favorite moment of the day was six little birds eating out the palm of my hand.

-Terrifying and fantastic wooden roller coaster. Notice the singular use of the noun, the ride on which took place at the very end of the day, the very last minute, to prevent a day of woozing and spinning.

It was a blast. Maybe that's why it has been so difficult to get back into teacher mode this week. Or maybe it's the changes my school has been making that I don't really approve of. I hope that comes off as bitter.

On Sunday we went to the 63 Building, back to the aquarium I hadn't been to since forever ago when I was still a baby in Korea. It just made me think of how far I've come. I've come so far. So far I've come. Did I mention it has become particularly obvious to me that I have come quite far - very far away, in fact, from the place in which I started? December 2008 me would walk right past October 2009 me without so much as a polite nod of the head.

And after the aquarium we checked out the Wax Museum, which was finally affordable because foreigners got half-priced tickets this weekend. (Foreigners are treated so well here, my students had difficulty imagining the plight of immigrants in America - a discussion topic this week.) I got some obligatory silly poses in, my favorite being a doting shot of me with my boyfriend, Barack, the American flag waving behind us on his podium. There are tons of pictures from this weekend. I didn't bring my camera along for any of it, but I'll steal from friends and post an album eventually.



And it goes without saying, I'm sorry for not writing in such a long while. There are excuses but they're the same ones that never stopped me in the past. I could have written about:

-Rearranging furniture. "Hey, look, my desk is in the living room now!"

-Or planning lessons. Oh, wow, this new game based on a grammar point might just make teaching the be verb for the hundredth time bearable. "Okay class, for the ten thousandth time: is for one thing, are for more than one thing, two or more things, many things!".

I don't mind if that comes off as bitter.

guilty

Ok, I am so sorry I broke my vow to write weekly. I'll try my best to keep it from now on. Even if I only sit in my apartment and stare at the wall, I'll think of something to share. There have been a few things worth writing about in the past month, I guess. Wow, it's really been a month. I feel incredibly guilty.

One event worth mentioning was the much-anticipated Mudfest, which was three weeks ago now. Basically all the foreigners scattered throughout the country hopped on trains and made their way to Boryeong, a fun little beach town on the west coast.

Mudfest is an annual thing, and it's exactly as the name implies: a mud party on the beach. It's super popular with foreigners, which makes sense as we've all come to Korea to work with kids and put off the real world for a year. Of course we can't resist the idea of playing in mud. The ever-amazing Joanne arranged our train tickets and hotel rooms. That was a hundred bucks, but everything on the beach - mud self-massage, mud slide, mud prison, colored mud, mud wrestling, mud games, etc - it was all free. Basically I painted myself with mud, slid down a mud slide, washed off in the ocean, and repeated. It was fun while it lasted, but ultimately we got rained out. It was too cold in only a bathing suit, so we took it indoors. We saw beautiful fireworks from the comfort of a dry, warm bar. Although my friends and I decided to take an earlier train home the next day, the silver lining is I met some awesome people who live in my area. I met one awesome person in particular, but that's all I'm saying for the mo ;)

China can't come soon enough. As far as Korea goes, lately I feel like I've run out of new experiences, new things to try. It's a terrible feeling. I made a list of everything I wanted to do, there are about two things left on that list, and with five months left, I can't shake the feeling that I should have stretched things out. I did try one new thing the other night. A new Korean dish I hadn't eaten before, and I got that old familiar feeling, the excitement of trying something new. It's like a drug, that feeling, and I have a hunch it's going to be what sways my decisions for the next few years. For instance, I've been thinking a lot about how exotic South America would be once I say goodbye to Korea...

The new teacher at my school is an amazing girl who spent two years in the Peace Corps in Mongolia. She has completely inspired me, but it also doesn't hurt that she insists it isn't as difficult as I thought to get into the program. So, as off the wall as it sounds, I see the Peace Corps in my future now. I don't know when I'll apply, but I know now I definitely will.

She came with me last weekend to see a concert in Incheon, which is about two hours away, but worth the time spent on public transport. Randomly, one of my favorite bands was in Korea. I was ecstatic to have the chance to see them here of all places. Concerts in Korea are lovely. No mosh pits? at a Deftones show? Sweet.

Children in Korea get one month off in the summer. It's this month. So my classes have been emptier this week, and will be for the next few weeks as kids go on vacation with their families. I'm glad my students get a break from their hectic schedules. The thing I'm not happy about is that they still go to their private school. Just have to keep telling myself I have a whole nine days off only three weeks from now. God, I need a vacation. Working full-time is rough. How do people do it for years on end?

Tomorrow is Ryan's birthday (and also Harry Potter's and J.K. Rowling's). Happy birthday, Ryan! I love you this much. My brother is 24 years old. That by itself makes me feel so damn grown-up, but it's especially scary since it means I'll be 23 soon. I know most of you think 23 is still young, but to me it's terrifying to think I'm gliding into my mid-twenties with no real prospects. Gasp. I feel a quarter life crisis coming on.

my backyard

It's May, so that means I've been here four months. (It also means I graduated about a year ago, which is really hard to believe.) Let's see, what's new? The class terms are four months long at my school, so last week I said goodbye to my first group of kids and met my new students. It was bittersweet. I'll miss my old kids, but it was time for a change. This term should be easier than last term, because I have two lesson plans to make instead of five. Last time I had five classes, each a different level. This time I still have five classes but three are level 6 and two are level 13. Blah, blah, boring work update, I know.

The past few days I've just been relaxing and enjoying my five day weekend due to Buddha's birthday and Childrens' Day. Thank you Buddha, thank you Korean children. I didn't have to teach Friday, today (a Monday), and I'm also off tomorrow.

I went to Songtan with Alex on Friday. She showed me where the shops are with (pretty overpriced) merch from home. I bought real gum, dill relish and flavored tootsie rolls, all of which are impossible to find here. Songtan is right outside a military base, so I guess it makes sense you can find stuff from America there. We ate Mexican and watched all the soldiers and military families walking by from the restaurant window, which was wide open due to the perfect weather. It was strangely comforting to see so many foreigners. Songtan is a weird place. It's like America Land, a little piece of home halfway around the world. Why does it exist?! I like to think it's there just for me, to help me feel closer to home.

But then, shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way -- never to be an old woman--but then--always to have lessons to learn!

Yesterday I had three goals: buy some new clothes, eat at On The Border, and see a movie. To kill three birds with one stone, I decided to go to COEX Mall, a ginormous shopping and entertainment complex in Seoul.

Okay, so as for goal one, I found some new clothes, which is a miracle because nothing fits me here. It goes without saying that Korean women are sticks. Now I know how overweight people at home feel when shopping. Goal one, check.

On to goal two. (Yes, I'm aware of its adverse relationship to goal one). Obviously I've staked out all Mexican restaurants within a 50 mile radius. I know there are two On The Borders in Seoul, and have been meaning to check one out. The food was exactly the same as at home. They even had sopapillas! Best Mexican I've had in Korea. Goal two, check.

Goal three was a miss. I found the giant Megaplex and was so anxious to sit in a movie theater for the first time in four months. That's a new record for me, people! I so wanted to see 스타트렉 (Star Trek), but turns out it doesn't come out here until next week. There was nothing else worth seeing. It'll have to wait till next weekend.

I discovered another—and possibly bigger—foreign book store, called Bundi and Lund. I now know where to find so many creature comforts, I'm starting think there's no reason to ever leave this country! Anyway, I found a sale copy of Pendragon, book nine. And get this: with the sale price and exchange rate, I paid less for an imported, hardback copy than I would have for the paperback at home.

Today I stayed in town and did a little exploring, just me and my bike. My allergies are killing me, but I couldn't resist the beautiful weather and all the stupid gorgeous flowers. I brought a small picnic, a blanket and some books and headed out to the park. I got restless after a while and wandered around taking tons of pictures. The park is amazing. I just relaxed in the shade right off a park trail, ran into a couple of students (bowing ensued, naturally), and really felt like I belong in this town. Just chose to ignore the young mothers pointing and proclaiming "Waeguk" to their babies every time I passed on my bike.

As a nice bonus, there was even a free show in the middle of the park. All in all today was great because I discovered some awesome things right in my own backyard. Literally right behind my building! I have a feeling I'll love springtime in Korea.

shaky kind of place where you could live

Whatever it is I'm doing here, I probably could have done it at home -- in time. But somehow I realize now that I needed to come here instead.

In science a catalyst provokes significant change. In fiction, it's the main character's quest, or whatever forces him to achieve a goal. You get the point. Korea is my catalyst. I'm not just the protagonist of this story; I'm the one writing.

Every day here I figure out something new about myself, about life, about the way things are and the way I've always known them to be but never stopped to think about past the surface. Every day. It's nice.

Getting settled in to life in Korea was my first goal and now that I've started to feel settled I needed a new goal. So last Monday I started taking yoga classes with some friends from work. It kicked my butt the first couple nights. I went last night and wasn't as sore after class, but during class I realized how much work I have to do in the coming months to get better.

I like yoga. It's an excellent workout, because you break a sweat from moving slowly and breathing and focusing on your own body and mind. There is "relaxing time" or meditation before and after the workout. Meditation music is played the whole time. The instructor is a kind, very zen little Korean man. He speaks some English, so I can understand and follow along. He pushes me to push myself; he's really motivating. The combination of all these things is great to help me unwind right after work.

An entry a while back was about how I've already established a daily routine. Well, I started yoga to help break up the monotony. I keep pushing myself to try new things as often as possible. But I also need that balance of familiar things to remember who I am. Striking the right balance is like an art. It's how Korea is helping me figure myself out. I came here to figure stuff out, remember? It's nice that I've been able to pinpoint one thing.

In a happy little foreign town where the stars hung upside down. A half a world away -- far far away.

This weekend the weather was good enough for a picnic in the park. Remember Dongtan has a big Central Park? Well this weekend, after several weeks here, I finally saw just how big the park is. The funniest part was a giant plastic/rubber poop with little chunks of food in it for the kids to climb on in the playground. I'll have to get a picture of that one for you guys. Kids are fascinated by poop and death here.

A couple of my friends bought new bikes this weekend, and I'm jealous. I have been thinking about buying one since I got here, and now the weather is warming up enough for it. I'll buy one Saturday and ride it around. I'm super excited. I miss riding a bike.

On Sunday I went to a town called Songtan, which is only a couple subway stops from home. It's got a military base, so it was really like little America. In fact, it felt almost exactly like walking around Fort Meade or Camp Lejeune. The town caters to American soldiers so there were places to buy pre-paid phones and my favorite...Mexican food! It has an awesome Mexican place that I guarantee I will visit many times over the next ten months. Songtan is hands down the best place I've found so far to combat homesickness.

This week at work is pretty crazy. We have a new head Korean teacher/manager who is learning the ropes. At the same time two of the foreign teachers are leaving and a new teacher just arrived to replace them. The couple who are leaving are wonderful and I'll really miss them. The new teacher seems really nice and cool. She's an American, fresh from home. I'm so looking forward to being the one to give advice for once. I'm a veteran teacher. How weird is that?

Corey's leaving for boot camp tomorrow. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him. The last time I webcammed with him and Ryan I only saw his back go across the screen a couple times as he was packing. I'll miss him. I already miss him. Being a big sister is so worrisome!