When we die, we usually leave behind a legal document stating our final words to loved ones and leaving all of our things to certain people or organizations. Imagine you are very old and have acquired many valuable things in your lifetime. Who will you leave them to and why?
After assigning three a month for a year, I was desperate for a new, original essay idea. I figured this was a stretch (and a pretty morbid topic for kids), but it resulted in my favorite, most creative essay yet. One of my highest level students is a really cool girl named Rosa. She and I bond over a love for K-drama hotties and sci-fi movies. Anyway, this is what she wrote:
I’m a 200 year old grandmother. I have three children. In my last moment, they are with me now. I know death is close. I have three treasures for my children. Now my son starts to read the testament.
I have a cloth. It’s the only one like it in the world. When I was young I bought it for 7000 million won. I used it to change into a bird. It was important to me, because I love to fly all around the world. I give it to you, my first child. Please use it very carefully. I never thought I would die, but you, please be a careful man.
My second daughter, I’ll give you an umbrella. It isn’t expensive. I made it a long time ago. If you want to have a sweet dream, open the umbrella. Then you can have a sweet dream. Use it carefully.
Last, I’ll give a box to you, my last son. It is called “the memory box.” I put in my happiest memories. If you want to see my memories, just open it. You can also put in your memories. Use it very gently.
I know there’s no time for me. I always try to be a good mother. I want you guys to be great people. Tell my secretary I loved her. See you in heaven.
December 01, 2009
November 30, 2009
countdown again
Monday after work I got to the airport as fast as I could to meet Terrell at the international arrivals gate. As fast as I could turned out to be a three hour subway ride. But when I saw him for the first time in almost a year, there in the dim, empty airport it was all worth it. I had one of those dramatic, surreal moments where I couldn't believe I was really looking at him, standing right there in front of me, in Korea of all places.
It was almost midnight so we took a cab most of the way back to my place. And he was here for almost a week. There were a lot of differences between Terrell's visit and my brothers' visit. Ryan and Corey mostly came just to see me. They learned a few phrases in Korean and found their way around and were so brave. I was really proud of them. But Terrell took it to the next level. He came to experience Korea and really tried to assimilate as much as he could in the short time he was here. He learned some Korean (with a great accent), wore a face mask to prevent getting H1N1, and even went with me to the jjimjilbang. He also had more patience with me than my brothers did, but I guess that's because brothers are allowed to be needy.
Thursday was Thanksgiving. I decided to forego any attempt at making a traditional Thanskgiving meal, because it could never live up to the home-cooked stuff and all those holiday feelings I've accepted I'm going to miss this year. Also, as the thing I'm most grateful for this year is my decision to run away to Korea, I couldn't resist the symbolism of a sit-on-the-floor Korean BBQ in place of turkey and stuffing. Luckily Thanksgiving isn't a big deal to Terrell, so he understood and supported the sentiment.
On Friday morning we went to the Folk Village, which is hands down the best place to take visitors. I have great memories of taking the boys there, and going with Terrell was just as memorable. There are a bunch of small restaurants and a large outdoor cafeteria to grab authentic Korean meals or just snacks. Terrell and I were in the village long enough to do both. We strolled around endlessly, never running out of things to see and talk about (we had a lot of catching up to do, after all).
That evening, we unexpectedly pulled an all-nighter that I would rather erase from my memory, Eternal Sunshine style. In a nutshell, we got really lost. Six hours, one molestation by a cab driver, one feeding of an orange to a different cab driver, several frantic phone calls and one miraculous discovery of trains running at 5:30 AM later, and we made it to the USO just in time to catch our tour bus to the DMZ. However, Terrell will spend the rest of my life reminding me how badly I handle stressful situations in a foreign country.
A couple weeks back I toured the War Museum in Seoul and learned a lot more about the Korean War than I had known the first time I saw the DMZ. So this weekend I had a whole new appreciation for what I was looking at and got closer to North Korea than ever before. But my favorite part was still the tour guide, PFC Coleman, an adorable soldier fresh out of AIT. I think we must have been his first ever tour group. It was a foggy day so we didn't get to see much. I'm really grateful I went on a clear day my first time.
The tour ended around 3pm, and we were home by around 5, passed out from exhaustion. I still wanted to cram in a little more Korean culture for Terrell before his flight on Sunday, so we decided to walk around as much of Hwaseong Fortress as time allowed. When we got to the top, I went up the steps of the last lookout point, the one I'd been saving for my final visit to the wall. Looking out at the foggy view from the top, I felt an amazing sense of closure. I think I'll always wish we'd had the time to make one last go around, for both of our sakes.
For the ultimate Korean experience, we decided to squeeze in an abridged trip to the jjimjilbang. Terrell was (understandably) too intimidated to do the full-on naked scrub, but we spent time together in the saunas, restaurant and lounge. That's what I love most about the bathhouse anyway - getting to just hang out there with my friends, wearing our matching uniforms. Then, after a relaxing chair massage while sipping lemonade tea, it was time for my amazing friend to leave. I waited with him at the airport-bus stop and was sad to see him go.
November 14, 2009
clocks stopped long ago, ya'll
Cellar door. The most beautiful words in the English language? I don't know. Flight home sounds quite beautiful to me right now. I land at Reagan at 8:45 p.m. on December 26. When I look at the itinerary, it's a surreal feeling.
I have 40 full days, and only 28 days of teaching, until my last day. I leave Korea on Christmas evening. I'll have two layovers, because decent flights home that week are expensive. But my school is paying for it so I can't complain. I decided to make the most of the layover in Tokyo. I chose a flight that gives me 22 hours to leave the airport and explore the city. I'm a little worried about how expensive hotels are there, but overall I'm excited to visit Japan.
Next Monday my friend Terrell, who I've mentioned a few times here, is flying to Korea to visit! He'll be here for a week. It's great timing, because it gives me an excuse to visit all of my old favorite spots one last time before I close this chapter. We booked a trip to the DMZ, so that will be the last major thing I do here. If you remember, the last time I went to the DMZ was a beautiful summer day. This time around the weather will fit (and I'll see the JSA). It will be the perfect end to my year in Korea.
I've changed my mind so many times about my next step. I've finally told myself to stop worrying about how its million implications will affect my future and to just run with it. I'm sure you noticed from lack of updates here that I haven't been doing much in Korea lately. I've been coming home from work and hitting the books, trying to figure out the smartest move. Just like how I did a lot of research before deciding to come to Korea, I'm doing a lot of research before deciding where to move next.
Right now I'm really keen on Austin, Texas. I've read in article after article that Texas hasn't been hit so hard by the recession, and you can apparently still find jobs there. At first I was just disappointed and ignored this possibility, figuring I could never be happy in a red state. But in a moment of total desperation I decided, as a hypothetical, to choose which Texas city would be the lesser of three evils: Houston, Dallas, or Austin. This was a brilliant idea. Turns out Austin is, shockingly, a liberal city! In fact, it's one of the coolest cities I've ever read about.
My dad has this to say: "Glad to hear that you decided not to go to South America. Things down there aren't exactly safe these days. Austin, TX sounds like a good place. Will give me an excuse to come visit." Gee, Dad, tell me how you really felt about my plans to move to Argentina.
Maybe I'll convince Corey to move out there with me. We all know my little brother is bored to tears in his small town. So, my next big decision will be whether to rent a two- or a three-bedroom. Oh, but before that, which American New Years party to attend!
I have 40 full days, and only 28 days of teaching, until my last day. I leave Korea on Christmas evening. I'll have two layovers, because decent flights home that week are expensive. But my school is paying for it so I can't complain. I decided to make the most of the layover in Tokyo. I chose a flight that gives me 22 hours to leave the airport and explore the city. I'm a little worried about how expensive hotels are there, but overall I'm excited to visit Japan.
Next Monday my friend Terrell, who I've mentioned a few times here, is flying to Korea to visit! He'll be here for a week. It's great timing, because it gives me an excuse to visit all of my old favorite spots one last time before I close this chapter. We booked a trip to the DMZ, so that will be the last major thing I do here. If you remember, the last time I went to the DMZ was a beautiful summer day. This time around the weather will fit (and I'll see the JSA). It will be the perfect end to my year in Korea.
I've changed my mind so many times about my next step. I've finally told myself to stop worrying about how its million implications will affect my future and to just run with it. I'm sure you noticed from lack of updates here that I haven't been doing much in Korea lately. I've been coming home from work and hitting the books, trying to figure out the smartest move. Just like how I did a lot of research before deciding to come to Korea, I'm doing a lot of research before deciding where to move next.
Right now I'm really keen on Austin, Texas. I've read in article after article that Texas hasn't been hit so hard by the recession, and you can apparently still find jobs there. At first I was just disappointed and ignored this possibility, figuring I could never be happy in a red state. But in a moment of total desperation I decided, as a hypothetical, to choose which Texas city would be the lesser of three evils: Houston, Dallas, or Austin. This was a brilliant idea. Turns out Austin is, shockingly, a liberal city! In fact, it's one of the coolest cities I've ever read about.
My dad has this to say: "Glad to hear that you decided not to go to South America. Things down there aren't exactly safe these days. Austin, TX sounds like a good place. Will give me an excuse to come visit." Gee, Dad, tell me how you really felt about my plans to move to Argentina.
Maybe I'll convince Corey to move out there with me. We all know my little brother is bored to tears in his small town. So, my next big decision will be whether to rent a two- or a three-bedroom. Oh, but before that, which American New Years party to attend!
October 22, 2009
the world of the buddha
The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion...If there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism. —Albert Einstein
My Korean friend Amy is a Buddhist. She invited me to do a temple stay with her last weekend. I jumped at the opportunity, because I knew going with her would be a more authentic experience than a huge group of foreigners thing at a temple in Seoul. The farther south you go, the fewer English speakers there will be. Which is why my memories from that weekend involve a lot of freaked out Koreans mouthing “waeguk” and doing double takes on their middle-of-nowhere front porches as they saw me ride past in buses and taxis. The temple was pretty remote, it took a lot of effort to get there.
We went to Daeheungsa temple, nestled among tree-saturated mountains in the southwestern limits of the country. I found myself praying to a chubby guy made of bronze, in an intense form of bowing that involved touching my head, both elbows and both knees to the ground, then standing straight up again. Repeated 108 times. One. Hundred. Eight. It's a beautiful thing, but painful. There's a venerating part where you flip your palms up, giving Buddha a place to stand on either side of your head. After around bow number 75, my sweat accumulating on the silky pillow, my heart beating in my ears, I'm pretty sure I could feel him there. And it was incredible to get into the rhythm, to forget everything but the cool night air, a blurry flicker of lanterns, the haunting sound of monks chanting, the reverberant bells fading into nothing.
The evening after the bows, after eating a modest dinner of rice and vegetables and soup, after washing the dishes to earn my keep, the world's coolest monk invited us to drink tea with him and stay the night at his home on the top of the mountain. His name was Moeon. He wore monk clothes and screamed inner peace (or was it indifference?). Monks are pretty stolid creatures, I expected that. I did not in my wildest dreams expect what happened next. Moeon had not only a cell phone, but an SUV, which he wordlessly herded us into for a steep ride through the forest.
His house and guesthouse were built in traditional style. The steps leading from the guesthouse to his made perfect seats for stargazing. And the stars were everywhere in the unfathomably dark sky of the mountaintop. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I also couldn't get over the fact I was drinking tea humbly poured for me by a man who devoted his whole life to enlightenment.
“You have the most amazing view of the night sky. Do you ever look at the stars?”
“Yes.” He could speak some English, but he was speaking Korean now, with Amy translating.
“What do you think about when you look at them?” I had to know.
A seriousness washed over his eyes behind the Ghandi glasses. His answer: “What's your name?”
Wait, did something get lost in translation? “Um, Amanda.”
“Amanda? Amanda? Do you know your name?” It seemed really important that I should firmly acknowledge my own name.
“Yes, Amanda!” Wait, is this a trick question? “Amanda? I'm... Amanda.”
“What was your name before you were born?” Oh, I get it, this is some kind of riddle. “What will your name be after you die?” He was speaking quickly, as though this were now some commonplace sentiment, as though I'd asked him about beansprouts. Amy was translating rapidly, and I was trying to look him in the eyes and hang on every word he said, because in that moment he looked so solemn and wise. He pointed to the heavens. And I was reminded of the little joke he made as the SUV pulled to a stop after our bumpy ride. “Welcome to heaven,” he'd said. Do they even have heaven in this religion?
But looking up at the stars framed against his roof, that curve so familiar after ten months, I understood his answer. It was such a scary feeling, imagining the immensity of time and the universe, my tiny place in it, and then looking up and it being right there, like looking into the mouth of a merciless monster, all those stars like teeth, and at the same time, strangely enough, the feeling of meeting a celebrity, someone I'd seen so often in pictures, but never in real life. I never see the stars. And now I know they're terrifying, especially on a cold night at the age of twenty-three.
The next morning was spent hiking to the top of a mountain called Duryusan, to a shrine so intimate in its simplicity—an earthy floor of sanded wood, unpainted beams, delicate paper shutters on wooden grids—where I meditated with my friend near an ancient Buddha engraved in a massive stone. I let go of a lot of things up there, sitting with my legs barely crossed on a soft gray pillow, the breeze carrying the smell of incense and autumn, birds chirping. Nature. This is all we were ever meant to hear and to feel.
Some monks were sweeping the steps that led from their hermitage up to the temple. With one of their homemade brooms, Amy encouraged me to sweep for them as a way of saying thanks. We fed their dog some treats, bowed (bowing to everyone all weekend was pretty awesome, by the way) and made our way back down the mountain. After a jjimjilbang-syle shower, which involved hand washing my monk clothes on an old school washboard, after the bows and the hikes, the questions and the thinking, I felt, um, purified.
October 12, 2009
long story short
I wanted a perm. I wanted to come home in two months with pretty, curly, long hair. I was afraid to get even a trim all year because of the language barrier and the difference between my fine hair and the hair of Korean women. Oh, the irony.
After the curlers came off, we discovered my hair was fried. Think Hermione Granger times about a hundred. So, without saying a word of warning to me, the stylist just started chopping off all my hair! You can imagine what went down, the deep sighs, the pointing frantically at pictures, the frustration, the tears. That was the hairdresser, not me. I was in shock. I actually didn't cry over it until I was shampooing my hair in the shower this morning.
I was in the salon on Sunday for almost five hours. In the end I felt terrible for the hairdresser. All I kept thinking was, "Put yourself in her shoes. If you don't stay calm, she will just freak out and end up cutting a bald spot in the side of your head." I got four or five haircuts before we finally settled on this one. My first and last trip to a Korean hair salon.
Here are pictures from yesterday and today. As you can see, I'm figuring out ways to style it. I can't bear to look at the back, let alone post a picture of it. The back is bad. I'm starting to get used to it. I'll admit, it's kind of fun playing with it in the morning. Will be investing in a lot of cute clips and new hair products. When life gives you lemons...
After the curlers came off, we discovered my hair was fried. Think Hermione Granger times about a hundred. So, without saying a word of warning to me, the stylist just started chopping off all my hair! You can imagine what went down, the deep sighs, the pointing frantically at pictures, the frustration, the tears. That was the hairdresser, not me. I was in shock. I actually didn't cry over it until I was shampooing my hair in the shower this morning.
I was in the salon on Sunday for almost five hours. In the end I felt terrible for the hairdresser. All I kept thinking was, "Put yourself in her shoes. If you don't stay calm, she will just freak out and end up cutting a bald spot in the side of your head." I got four or five haircuts before we finally settled on this one. My first and last trip to a Korean hair salon.
Here are pictures from yesterday and today. As you can see, I'm figuring out ways to style it. I can't bear to look at the back, let alone post a picture of it. The back is bad. I'm starting to get used to it. I'll admit, it's kind of fun playing with it in the morning. Will be investing in a lot of cute clips and new hair products. When life gives you lemons...
October 07, 2009
this must be the place
I wake up on a cloud some mornings, completely in love with Korea. Those days I never want to leave. Other mornings the most optimistic I can get is to just hope for that feeling to please come back, like it always does, out of nowhere, from causes I can't pinpoint. So elusive, that feeling. After the events of the past few weeks, I have a feeling it's not coming back.
My school has inadvertently given me the sign I was looking for, and so when a couple of girl friends from home invited me to join them on a cruise in early January, I said to myself (and to them), "Hell yes, that is precisely what I need."
So I will be in America for the holidays, and I will at least halfway-seriously be looking for a way to make a life there after the cruise, when I get home. If I round up, I'll be a reappointed American girl in ten weeks, back where I belong again.
America America AmericaAmericaamericaamericamerica
So bipolar in my homesickness. In other news, I just finished recovering from a long and eventful four-and-a half-day weekend for Chuseok - that's only one of two Korean national holidays, pretty big deal. On Friday I went to Everland, the country's biggest theme park. Here are the highlights:
-Foreigners get a discount, just for being foreign.
-Face painting. A rainbow butterfly covering half my face. Lots of stares. No regrets. Nothing else can make you feel like a kid again quite so easily.
-Halloween themed rides. Korea loves its 3D/4D/5D rides. (There's a 4D roller coaster simulator right next door to my favorite coffee shop in town, and there was a 5D horror show at the 63 Building this weekend - more on that below.)
-America Land with streets that brought me back home for the short time I strolled through them.
-Zootopia. My favorite moment of the day was six little birds eating out the palm of my hand.
-Terrifying and fantastic wooden roller coaster. Notice the singular use of the noun, the ride on which took place at the very end of the day, the very last minute, to prevent a day of woozing and spinning.
It was a blast. Maybe that's why it has been so difficult to get back into teacher mode this week. Or maybe it's the changes my school has been making that I don't really approve of. I hope that comes off as bitter.
On Sunday we went to the 63 Building, back to the aquarium I hadn't been to since forever ago when I was still a baby in Korea. It just made me think of how far I've come. I've come so far. So far I've come. Did I mention it has become particularly obvious to me that I have come quite far - very far away, in fact, from the place in which I started? December 2008 me would walk right past October 2009 me without so much as a polite nod of the head.
And after the aquarium we checked out the Wax Museum, which was finally affordable because foreigners got half-priced tickets this weekend. (Foreigners are treated so well here, my students had difficulty imagining the plight of immigrants in America - a discussion topic this week.) I got some obligatory silly poses in, my favorite being a doting shot of me with my boyfriend, Barack, the American flag waving behind us on his podium. There are tons of pictures from this weekend. I didn't bring my camera along for any of it, but I'll steal from friends and post an album eventually.
And it goes without saying, I'm sorry for not writing in such a long while. There are excuses but they're the same ones that never stopped me in the past. I could have written about:
-Rearranging furniture. "Hey, look, my desk is in the living room now!"
-Or planning lessons. Oh, wow, this new game based on a grammar point might just make teaching the be verb for the hundredth time bearable. "Okay class, for the ten thousandth time: is for one thing, are for more than one thing, two or more things, many things!".
I don't mind if that comes off as bitter.
My school has inadvertently given me the sign I was looking for, and so when a couple of girl friends from home invited me to join them on a cruise in early January, I said to myself (and to them), "Hell yes, that is precisely what I need."
So I will be in America for the holidays, and I will at least halfway-seriously be looking for a way to make a life there after the cruise, when I get home. If I round up, I'll be a reappointed American girl in ten weeks, back where I belong again.
America America AmericaAmericaamericaamericamerica
So bipolar in my homesickness. In other news, I just finished recovering from a long and eventful four-and-a half-day weekend for Chuseok - that's only one of two Korean national holidays, pretty big deal. On Friday I went to Everland, the country's biggest theme park. Here are the highlights:
-Foreigners get a discount, just for being foreign.
-Face painting. A rainbow butterfly covering half my face. Lots of stares. No regrets. Nothing else can make you feel like a kid again quite so easily.
-Halloween themed rides. Korea loves its 3D/4D/5D rides. (There's a 4D roller coaster simulator right next door to my favorite coffee shop in town, and there was a 5D horror show at the 63 Building this weekend - more on that below.)
-America Land with streets that brought me back home for the short time I strolled through them.
-Zootopia. My favorite moment of the day was six little birds eating out the palm of my hand.
-Terrifying and fantastic wooden roller coaster. Notice the singular use of the noun, the ride on which took place at the very end of the day, the very last minute, to prevent a day of woozing and spinning.
It was a blast. Maybe that's why it has been so difficult to get back into teacher mode this week. Or maybe it's the changes my school has been making that I don't really approve of. I hope that comes off as bitter.
On Sunday we went to the 63 Building, back to the aquarium I hadn't been to since forever ago when I was still a baby in Korea. It just made me think of how far I've come. I've come so far. So far I've come. Did I mention it has become particularly obvious to me that I have come quite far - very far away, in fact, from the place in which I started? December 2008 me would walk right past October 2009 me without so much as a polite nod of the head.
And after the aquarium we checked out the Wax Museum, which was finally affordable because foreigners got half-priced tickets this weekend. (Foreigners are treated so well here, my students had difficulty imagining the plight of immigrants in America - a discussion topic this week.) I got some obligatory silly poses in, my favorite being a doting shot of me with my boyfriend, Barack, the American flag waving behind us on his podium. There are tons of pictures from this weekend. I didn't bring my camera along for any of it, but I'll steal from friends and post an album eventually.
And it goes without saying, I'm sorry for not writing in such a long while. There are excuses but they're the same ones that never stopped me in the past. I could have written about:
-Rearranging furniture. "Hey, look, my desk is in the living room now!"
-Or planning lessons. Oh, wow, this new game based on a grammar point might just make teaching the be verb for the hundredth time bearable. "Okay class, for the ten thousandth time: is for one thing, are for more than one thing, two or more things, many things!".
I don't mind if that comes off as bitter.
September 13, 2009
unfolded and unfolding
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I had free periods at work this week, which was really rare for me. I did some work, but spent most of it in Future Land. I'm gradually forming a plan and getting really excited about it. I'm going to cross so much off the bucket list.
Long story short, I wanted to stay in Korea, I even decided that's what I'd do - but now I'm dreaming about traveling, enough with staying still. This week I woke up from a beautiful dream that I knew was too good to be true, and now I need something new to smile about. So I've been making a list of cities and snaking lines through a map of Europe.
I found out this week that my last day in Korea will be December 24th, barely enough time to be home for Christmas. I can't help but daydream about how easy it would be to reunite with England, take the chunnel to France, stroll around Western Europe until I go almost broke, end in Istanbul, and climb my way up to Saint Petersburg. Then from Moscow I can catch the Trans-Siberian, which is a week-long train that ends at the other side of Russia. From Vladivostok I can catch a ferry back to Korea, visit friends, then fly home. If I'm not ready to come home I can get a job in China, Japan, Thailand, Argentina, Peru, maybe Korea...
There's a new teacher at work. He's a great guy who instantly fits in well with the rest of our (dwindling) group. When I started my school had nine foreign teachers, now it's down to six. It's hard to believe how much things have changed since that first bunch of us. Pretty soon Adam and I will be the oldest staff at the school. So strange! Saying goodbye to good friends so often is painful and it's something about expat life I'd never be able to get used to. Alex has been gone for a couple weeks now. Things just aren't the same here without her calming advice and assured sense of reason. Luckily I got a chance to talk to Terrell tonight. He reminded me I still have my home friends who can do their job just as well from across the planet.
Kim invited me to go with her to Busan this weekend to hang out with her friends down there, so I used it as a chance to ask them questions and see more of the city. I'm glad I went. Seeing the city again helped me make up my mind. I met a girl who'd lived there for over a year. She loves the place and has a great job, but recommended I stay in the Seoul area if I come to Korea again. She told me there really wasn't much to do other than go to the beach. And the beach was mostly a crowded mess in summer, not relaxing like the American ones I'm used to. If I teach abroad again I'll try to make it in another country.
So this week I decided I was ready to leave as I caught myself flipping through my calendar, counting the number of teaching days I have left. It's 72 work days, and 101 days total, in case you were wondering. It's not that I hate teaching now, it's just that now I understand why teachers get such long vacations. I feel myself getting burnt out. Teaching is such a high-energy job if you want to feel any good at it. I need a really long break. I find myself needing to go to the jjimjilbang almost every day after work. Anyway, only like three months left. I can't believe how fast time flies.
I had free periods at work this week, which was really rare for me. I did some work, but spent most of it in Future Land. I'm gradually forming a plan and getting really excited about it. I'm going to cross so much off the bucket list.
Long story short, I wanted to stay in Korea, I even decided that's what I'd do - but now I'm dreaming about traveling, enough with staying still. This week I woke up from a beautiful dream that I knew was too good to be true, and now I need something new to smile about. So I've been making a list of cities and snaking lines through a map of Europe.
I found out this week that my last day in Korea will be December 24th, barely enough time to be home for Christmas. I can't help but daydream about how easy it would be to reunite with England, take the chunnel to France, stroll around Western Europe until I go almost broke, end in Istanbul, and climb my way up to Saint Petersburg. Then from Moscow I can catch the Trans-Siberian, which is a week-long train that ends at the other side of Russia. From Vladivostok I can catch a ferry back to Korea, visit friends, then fly home. If I'm not ready to come home I can get a job in China, Japan, Thailand, Argentina, Peru, maybe Korea...
Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. —Haruki Murakami
There's a new teacher at work. He's a great guy who instantly fits in well with the rest of our (dwindling) group. When I started my school had nine foreign teachers, now it's down to six. It's hard to believe how much things have changed since that first bunch of us. Pretty soon Adam and I will be the oldest staff at the school. So strange! Saying goodbye to good friends so often is painful and it's something about expat life I'd never be able to get used to. Alex has been gone for a couple weeks now. Things just aren't the same here without her calming advice and assured sense of reason. Luckily I got a chance to talk to Terrell tonight. He reminded me I still have my home friends who can do their job just as well from across the planet.
Kim invited me to go with her to Busan this weekend to hang out with her friends down there, so I used it as a chance to ask them questions and see more of the city. I'm glad I went. Seeing the city again helped me make up my mind. I met a girl who'd lived there for over a year. She loves the place and has a great job, but recommended I stay in the Seoul area if I come to Korea again. She told me there really wasn't much to do other than go to the beach. And the beach was mostly a crowded mess in summer, not relaxing like the American ones I'm used to. If I teach abroad again I'll try to make it in another country.
So this week I decided I was ready to leave as I caught myself flipping through my calendar, counting the number of teaching days I have left. It's 72 work days, and 101 days total, in case you were wondering. It's not that I hate teaching now, it's just that now I understand why teachers get such long vacations. I feel myself getting burnt out. Teaching is such a high-energy job if you want to feel any good at it. I need a really long break. I find myself needing to go to the jjimjilbang almost every day after work. Anyway, only like three months left. I can't believe how fast time flies.
September 07, 2009
busan
Last weekend I finally went to Busan. That's another major thing I can tick off the list. I had a feeling the work week after vacation would be rough, so I knew I wanted to go to Busan this weekend to kind of extend my vacation. Not to sound modest or anything, but that was an awesome idea. Ed was planning to meet his family there that weekend, so I tagged along with him. They were great people and it ended up being a really stress free weekend since I totally just mooched off their plans.
Busan is the second largest city in Korea. It's a beach town all the way on the other end of the country. Patrick and Alex loved it so much they decided to move there for their second year in Korea. Needless to say, another year with them would be amazing. I went to get a feel for the town I may call home for all of 2010. I completely understand why they fell in love with the place. For such a large city, it somehow manages to be quite lovely. I never felt as rushed and stressed as I sometimes can in Seoul. And even though I knew I was still in Korea (home sweet home), I felt like I was in a foreign place.
We went to Haeundae beach, which was pretty breathtaking at first glance. There were tiny, cragged rocks in the distance and houses built onto the side of small mountains. It was adorable. And I got the sense living near the water again would be good for my soul like it was when I lived near Emerald Isle.
We checked out the fish market, which was something I'd been looking forward to ever since I cracked open my first Korean guidebook and discovered that's what Korea is all about. The seafood was so fresh, I never knew mass death could look so beautiful. It was fascinating to be around all those indifferent vendors to whom chopping off fish heads and pulling out guts is the unremarkable everyday. We ate a fish snack and some deadly blowfish along the glistening waterfront. Half a dozen old Korean men walked by, stuck their nose in the take away box and nodded their approval. Brave foreigners! Anyway, the fish snack we got was the freshest seafood I've ever had (and I'm from Maryland!). The last big thing we did was a walk around the gorgeous Beomeosa Temple, which was a perfectly relaxing end to a relaxing weekend.
I need to vent a little. I've been feeling horrible lately about December. I keep hoping to wake up one day soon as the old Mandy who didn't think much past my next meal. If I just extend my contract I can go back to being that girl for at least a few more months. With that logic in mind, I'd kind of narrowed it down to either staying in Dongtan or moving to Busan. I was seriously hoping going to Busan would make my decision easier, but it didn't really help.
I think I fell in love with the place. The question is, do I want to move there knowing I'd eventually take its novelty for granted? It's like that quote from Lost in Translation, "Let's never come back here again, because it will never be as much fun." I'm also weary about finding a good enough school. So, despite how much I loved the city, on the train ride home I only felt defeated. I'm still no closer to making a decision... tune in next time.
Busan is the second largest city in Korea. It's a beach town all the way on the other end of the country. Patrick and Alex loved it so much they decided to move there for their second year in Korea. Needless to say, another year with them would be amazing. I went to get a feel for the town I may call home for all of 2010. I completely understand why they fell in love with the place. For such a large city, it somehow manages to be quite lovely. I never felt as rushed and stressed as I sometimes can in Seoul. And even though I knew I was still in Korea (home sweet home), I felt like I was in a foreign place.
We went to Haeundae beach, which was pretty breathtaking at first glance. There were tiny, cragged rocks in the distance and houses built onto the side of small mountains. It was adorable. And I got the sense living near the water again would be good for my soul like it was when I lived near Emerald Isle.
We checked out the fish market, which was something I'd been looking forward to ever since I cracked open my first Korean guidebook and discovered that's what Korea is all about. The seafood was so fresh, I never knew mass death could look so beautiful. It was fascinating to be around all those indifferent vendors to whom chopping off fish heads and pulling out guts is the unremarkable everyday. We ate a fish snack and some deadly blowfish along the glistening waterfront. Half a dozen old Korean men walked by, stuck their nose in the take away box and nodded their approval. Brave foreigners! Anyway, the fish snack we got was the freshest seafood I've ever had (and I'm from Maryland!). The last big thing we did was a walk around the gorgeous Beomeosa Temple, which was a perfectly relaxing end to a relaxing weekend.
I need to vent a little. I've been feeling horrible lately about December. I keep hoping to wake up one day soon as the old Mandy who didn't think much past my next meal. If I just extend my contract I can go back to being that girl for at least a few more months. With that logic in mind, I'd kind of narrowed it down to either staying in Dongtan or moving to Busan. I was seriously hoping going to Busan would make my decision easier, but it didn't really help.
I think I fell in love with the place. The question is, do I want to move there knowing I'd eventually take its novelty for granted? It's like that quote from Lost in Translation, "Let's never come back here again, because it will never be as much fun." I'm also weary about finding a good enough school. So, despite how much I loved the city, on the train ride home I only felt defeated. I'm still no closer to making a decision... tune in next time.
September 01, 2009
the china vacation
The whole week prior to vacation is lost - my brain was off, I taught on auto-pilot. Didn't sleep after work on Friday, packed all night, left for the airport at 4:15 am. Kim, Theresa, and I caught a cab to the airport bus. (Kim went to the airport with clothes for a week and fingers crossed for an empty seat on a plane to Taipei. I only found out when I got home that she'd made it.) Anyway, there's nothing like 5 am rides to the airport before a much-needed vacation. I exchanged some Korean money for Chinese, having no idea yet how far my money would go. China is so cheap. The flight took only two hours. T and I had landed in Beijing!
T had a layover in the city for a few hours before she headed off to the other side of China to spend a week climbing in beautiful Yangshuo. Dad was nowhere to be found at the arrival gate, so T and I got coffee and waited. Eventually Dad walked past the window and it was like eight months had never happened. It was just Dad. But I'll never forget the smile on his face when he saw me. We had drinks with T, then took a cab to the hotel.
The hotel deserves its own entry. But I'll try not to brag about it too much. It was the most posh hotel I've ever seen, and likely the nicest I'll ever stay in. The bathroom was pure luxury and I spent many hours in its rain shower and unwinding in its tub. There was a giant, free breakfast buffet every morning with every food imaginable. And every night there was a free dinner and open bar on the top floor lounge. I spent some nights enjoying free beer or wine and cheese in the company of only the city skyline. (Will Smith and family were there, and one night we ate dinner across from his son, the new karate kid!) Ok, I know you're all turning green, so I'll move on.
That first day Dad and I enjoyed a really expensive German lunch. It was only like $60 (450 yuan), but that's a lot for Beijing, considering you can eat a regular meal for only about $2 (15 yuan). Dad was pretty excited to use the subway system, it was so cute. Usually when he travels he takes cabs everywhere. There were plenty of doormen willing to hail a cab and a concierge willing to write place names in Chinese, but there was a subway stop literally ten feet in front of the hotel. The subway was dirt cheap - 2 yuan per trip. That's 25 cents.
On Sunday Dad was feeling really sick. I wandered around our rich area of the city by myself, and treated myself to a massage. I don't know why but I always expected massages to be transformative life events. It was at least really pleasant and relaxing. Dim lighting. Lavender oil. (Soft music? I can't remember.) The hall leading to the massage room was covered with a couple inches of water, and floating candles and stepping stones led the way. This was my first massage ever. I didn't know what to do and the language barrier didn't help. There was an awkward moment when I was wearing a robe and standing with arms crossed modestly when I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be naked and laying face down on the table.
So, what's it like to be a tourist in Beijing? Of course I saw whatever seemed interesting in the travel guide. Some things aren't really worth mentioning. Went to Tiananmen Square with dad. There are some obligatory pictures of that. Alone, I checked out some museums that ended up being a waste of the time and energy it took to find them. Well, except for the fact that it gave me some surprising insight into the lack of priority the Chinese government has for its national museums. But then again, in China I had some of the most beautiful moments I'd ever hoped to experience.
Beijing is louder and more crowded than Seoul. It's also much more polluted, but oddly didn't smell as bad. On half the days I was there the smog was so thick I could barely see a block away. And China is basically Korea on steroids. The spaces are so much larger, it's exhausting. Chinese people are not quiet on public transportation like Korean people. Their language was so interesting to listen to. Mandarin is famous for being impossibly tonal. Korean is famous for having a very flat intonation. I could definitely hear the strange difference. Duh, China is crowded, but what I wasn't expecting was how few foreign faces I saw. Transferring subway lines during rush hour and literally being the only foreigner among a sea of Chinese faces was the coolest thing ever.
The Summer Palace is on the outskirts of the city. The day I took on the challenge of finding it is my favorite day of the vacation. I got so lost and so frustrated, but it was all worth it. I woke up early to give myself plenty of time to get there. I wanted to take the scenic route to see as much of the city as I could while still making my way. Took the above ground part of the subway and saw parts of Beijing completely dissimilar to the embassy part of town. Matched the Chinese characters of the guidebook to those on the bus signs, all completely lacking English, to figure out the right bus on the right side of the street. My proudest moment was waiting for the bus after only having to cross the street one time! The palace grounds were immense and impressive. Because I had no expectations and knew nothing about it beforehand, I was blown away. There was a lot of hiking and a lot of something that felt very much like time-travel. So, yea, it was my kind of place.
My friend Terrell went to China last year and came back with stories and hilarious pictures posing with complete strangers. He'd told me people had come up to him constantly as though he was a celebrity. I only remembered that after the same thing started to happen to me. It was awesome. Chinese people are wonderful overall, but I did meet some who saw me as a chance to exploit the rich foreigner. (On that note, I've never seen poverty like I saw in Beijing, and it made me feel extremely guilty to be staying in a five-star hotel.) In the Lonely Planet I read about the scams, and I'm glad I did because I knew how to avoid them. There was one guy who was really good and almost got me to trust him. But then I heard Oprah's voice, in her special about kidnapping, telling me not to go to the second location. My dad swears I was almost sold into sex slavery.
The Temple of Heaven was a gorgeous park with plenty of trees and shaded pathways. Traditional Chinese music was coming from somewhere - I suspect the rocks. It was a good place to get away from the crowds, possibly because you have to pay to enter. After days on end of beautiful scenery swarming with tour groups, I had finally found a spot both amazing and secluded. I wished I had brought my book to read, but I'd given up on reading in public spaces at this point. (The Imperial Garden of the Forbidden City had been crazy beautiful, and I'd wanted so badly to find a quiet spot there to curl up and read. In the end, I'd put my book away in defeat.)
The Great Wall with my dad was one of those rare moments in life when the overblown and completely unrealistic expectations you have match perfectly with what actually happens. It was absolutely stunning. There are no words. It will just go down as one of my life's happiest memories.
T had a layover in the city for a few hours before she headed off to the other side of China to spend a week climbing in beautiful Yangshuo. Dad was nowhere to be found at the arrival gate, so T and I got coffee and waited. Eventually Dad walked past the window and it was like eight months had never happened. It was just Dad. But I'll never forget the smile on his face when he saw me. We had drinks with T, then took a cab to the hotel.
The hotel deserves its own entry. But I'll try not to brag about it too much. It was the most posh hotel I've ever seen, and likely the nicest I'll ever stay in. The bathroom was pure luxury and I spent many hours in its rain shower and unwinding in its tub. There was a giant, free breakfast buffet every morning with every food imaginable. And every night there was a free dinner and open bar on the top floor lounge. I spent some nights enjoying free beer or wine and cheese in the company of only the city skyline. (Will Smith and family were there, and one night we ate dinner across from his son, the new karate kid!) Ok, I know you're all turning green, so I'll move on.
That first day Dad and I enjoyed a really expensive German lunch. It was only like $60 (450 yuan), but that's a lot for Beijing, considering you can eat a regular meal for only about $2 (15 yuan). Dad was pretty excited to use the subway system, it was so cute. Usually when he travels he takes cabs everywhere. There were plenty of doormen willing to hail a cab and a concierge willing to write place names in Chinese, but there was a subway stop literally ten feet in front of the hotel. The subway was dirt cheap - 2 yuan per trip. That's 25 cents.
On Sunday Dad was feeling really sick. I wandered around our rich area of the city by myself, and treated myself to a massage. I don't know why but I always expected massages to be transformative life events. It was at least really pleasant and relaxing. Dim lighting. Lavender oil. (Soft music? I can't remember.) The hall leading to the massage room was covered with a couple inches of water, and floating candles and stepping stones led the way. This was my first massage ever. I didn't know what to do and the language barrier didn't help. There was an awkward moment when I was wearing a robe and standing with arms crossed modestly when I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be naked and laying face down on the table.
So, what's it like to be a tourist in Beijing? Of course I saw whatever seemed interesting in the travel guide. Some things aren't really worth mentioning. Went to Tiananmen Square with dad. There are some obligatory pictures of that. Alone, I checked out some museums that ended up being a waste of the time and energy it took to find them. Well, except for the fact that it gave me some surprising insight into the lack of priority the Chinese government has for its national museums. But then again, in China I had some of the most beautiful moments I'd ever hoped to experience.
Beijing is louder and more crowded than Seoul. It's also much more polluted, but oddly didn't smell as bad. On half the days I was there the smog was so thick I could barely see a block away. And China is basically Korea on steroids. The spaces are so much larger, it's exhausting. Chinese people are not quiet on public transportation like Korean people. Their language was so interesting to listen to. Mandarin is famous for being impossibly tonal. Korean is famous for having a very flat intonation. I could definitely hear the strange difference. Duh, China is crowded, but what I wasn't expecting was how few foreign faces I saw. Transferring subway lines during rush hour and literally being the only foreigner among a sea of Chinese faces was the coolest thing ever.
The Summer Palace is on the outskirts of the city. The day I took on the challenge of finding it is my favorite day of the vacation. I got so lost and so frustrated, but it was all worth it. I woke up early to give myself plenty of time to get there. I wanted to take the scenic route to see as much of the city as I could while still making my way. Took the above ground part of the subway and saw parts of Beijing completely dissimilar to the embassy part of town. Matched the Chinese characters of the guidebook to those on the bus signs, all completely lacking English, to figure out the right bus on the right side of the street. My proudest moment was waiting for the bus after only having to cross the street one time! The palace grounds were immense and impressive. Because I had no expectations and knew nothing about it beforehand, I was blown away. There was a lot of hiking and a lot of something that felt very much like time-travel. So, yea, it was my kind of place.
My friend Terrell went to China last year and came back with stories and hilarious pictures posing with complete strangers. He'd told me people had come up to him constantly as though he was a celebrity. I only remembered that after the same thing started to happen to me. It was awesome. Chinese people are wonderful overall, but I did meet some who saw me as a chance to exploit the rich foreigner. (On that note, I've never seen poverty like I saw in Beijing, and it made me feel extremely guilty to be staying in a five-star hotel.) In the Lonely Planet I read about the scams, and I'm glad I did because I knew how to avoid them. There was one guy who was really good and almost got me to trust him. But then I heard Oprah's voice, in her special about kidnapping, telling me not to go to the second location. My dad swears I was almost sold into sex slavery.
The Temple of Heaven was a gorgeous park with plenty of trees and shaded pathways. Traditional Chinese music was coming from somewhere - I suspect the rocks. It was a good place to get away from the crowds, possibly because you have to pay to enter. After days on end of beautiful scenery swarming with tour groups, I had finally found a spot both amazing and secluded. I wished I had brought my book to read, but I'd given up on reading in public spaces at this point. (The Imperial Garden of the Forbidden City had been crazy beautiful, and I'd wanted so badly to find a quiet spot there to curl up and read. In the end, I'd put my book away in defeat.)
The Great Wall with my dad was one of those rare moments in life when the overblown and completely unrealistic expectations you have match perfectly with what actually happens. It was absolutely stunning. There are no words. It will just go down as one of my life's happiest memories.
August 15, 2009
battered suitcases
Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life. -Jack Kerouac
Have you noticed my posts are often either about homesickness or travel? Well, here's another ode to travel. Whether or not they ever get around to putting it on paper, everyone has a bucket list, a list of things we want to do before we die. Of course I want to sky dive, bungee jump, ride a horse, write a book, fall in love, get married, blah blah blah, just like everyone else. This is a bucket list restricted to places I want to travel. As much as you can put things like this in order of preference, I tried to list the things I want to do most before the rest.
☐ Live in South America. Become fluent in Spanish.
☐ Bird watch in the Galapagos Islands.
☐ Visit Machu Pichu.
☐ Antarctica. I know, it's really expensive.
☐ Spend a summer working in Yellowstone.
☐ Be a tourist in all of the great cities of Europe.
☐ Do a road trip across America. See everything. Finally see California in the end.
☑ Stay in a temple. Experience life as a monk. (October 2009)
☐ Kiss the ground in Africa.
☐ See the pyramids.
☐ Go on a world tour of abandoned towns.
☑ Hike the Great Wall of China. (August 2009)
☐ Ride the Trans-Siberian.
☐ Swim in the Devil's Pool at Victoria Falls.
☑ Go on a long cruise. (January 2010)
☐ See that giant tree growing over the ruins of Angkor Wat.
☐ See the northern lights from a glass igloo hotel room.
☐ People watch in India.
☐ Travel to the deepest waters of the ocean, out in the middle of nowhere.
☐ Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef.
Writing this really helped me put my head in order. It includes all of my priorities for the next several years. When I was in America I couldn't shake the feeling that no matter how much I'd always believed it was what I wanted and was told it was what I should want, I didn't want the career, the house, the American Dream. It's finally sunk in that what I want is another dream, one that's just as complicated and frustrating to chase I'm sure, but at least it's one I can feel myself wanting to fight for. So, I figured out this is what I want to do with my life: experience the whole world. Essentially it's one easy word. Travel. I can keep my eye on that word, repeat it over and over like a mantra, and I feel everything will just fall into place.
August 13, 2009
hallelujah
It ain't possible to live unless you crossin' somebody's line.
Yay for post #42! These blogs lately have kind of a melancholy tone. I'm not the wide-eyed little sprite I was when I first arrived, but don't get me wrong, more often than not I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I haven't been this happy maybe ever.
So, let's see, what new? Oh, yea, I celebrated a birthday in a foreign country! Pretty cool, huh? I'm proud of where I am at this age. On my birthdays I always think about younger versions of myself and wonder if I/she would like the person I/she see/s. Stupid grammar, doesn't work with time travel.
Aside from my birthday, which was just a simple and classy (like school on Saturday) dinner and drinks, I haven't done much new stuff. Korea is just home now. I've been incredibly useless here lately - my apartment is a mess, no groceries, I seriously need to do laundry, and I have not planned one minute of my China trip other than buying a Beijing Lonely Planet and reading about 5 pages of it. My brain has been turned off. I must be on early vacation mode.
I guess a lot has been on my mind (not that I've been going out of my way to sort any of it out). Amanda's brain. Here goes:
Hey, Universe, what should I do? This week there's been lots of talk with friends back home. They're already trying to make plans for when I (am supposed to) come back to the states. I reckon it has pretty much always been set in stone that I'll be home for Christmas, or at least the new year. And I want to be there for those things. Bear hugs all around with all those people I love and miss. But even more than the bear hugs, I want to do something awesome. There's some need for an awesome adventure still lurking in my system. Where do I squeeze in the adventure? How do I make my priorities fit together when they're so opposite? Home versus the world.
Everywhere I go I hear a clock. I ride my bike through the park, tick. I eat dinner with my friends in the break room at work, tock. I don't want this to end. I'm so used to everything here. It's home. For once in my life I can understand why people stay in one place and at one job their whole lives. My job is a dream. My town is an unsung utopia. My apartment is beautiful, my friends even more so. I just turned 23, and I feel like I have it all, but that damn clock keeps ticking to take it all away. Four months seems desperately right around the corner.
To stay or not to stay, that is the question. I have a feeling I'll know whether or not to extend my contract after going to China, getting the homesickness out of my system after seeing Dad, and inevitably catching the travel bug again.
I keep hoping for some sign to present itself. I'm honestly hoping the answer will just come to me one day soon. It's the lazy way out. My heart sinks on rainy days that ruin my odds of spotting the heavenly light. This from a girl who never believed in signs. But I definitely do after the summer I've had.
This weekend is the last weekend I have with my best friend here, Alex. If you all remember, she's the one who first introduced me to the jjimjilbang and most everything else, and she's the one who yoga-ed and studied Korean with me every day after work. I wouldn't know and love this country as well as I do if it weren't for her. I have a feeling I'll be incredibly sad when she leaves. I'm already incredibly sad just thinking about it! But she has an amazing adventure planned, traveling the world for weeks and weeks with her awesome boyfriend Patrick who I'll miss a lot, too. Maybe I'll steal their adventure...
August 05, 2009
weather and noise
Sorry, recent events are top secret, but here's how I've been feeling lately:
"Where are you from?"
For such a harmless question, it's amazing how much this kills me. I try not to think of home, and then BAM all the memories come rushing back with those four simple words. As soon as they begin to stumble out of a stranger's mouth, I get so uneasy. My body tenses up and I need to catch my breath, then I brace myself and wait as long as possible to answer. If at all possible (like if I'm in a large group) I usually manage to avoid answering, but the memories still linger.
If it's just me, how can I explain why I'd rather not answer? So I answer.
"America."
I wince. And the nostalgia takes over. It hurts to say, "America." It's like saying the name of a long lost lover or a recently deceased friend. The shock of that question brings me unexpectedly back in time, or maybe it reminds me of reality. Whatever it does, it transports me to a strangely familiar/familiarly strange place. It's an unwelcome trip that I'm never prepared for.
Moral of the story: It's becoming more and more difficult to think about home without wishing for a billion little fishing lines to pull me through the Pacific Ocean, across the Mojave desert, and onto a Calvert County pier.
Dad wants to know what he can bring for me when we meet in Beijing. He's bringing me shoes, but what I really want is an hour in the size nine aisle of Payless. As much as I wanted to get away from some of these things seven months ago, I have to admit I really miss Payless, Chipotle, Borders, Target, Wawa, Panera Bread, CVS, ordering Chinese take-out, the fat-free option, indie movie theaters, driving, College Park, my grandparents' houses, summer barbeques, diversity, American architecture, proper English on signs, my real cell phone, my friends' voices, the nearness of everything I've ever known, Washington DC, the metro, football, baseball, searching for medium sizes while shopping instead the largest possible sizes, being an American girl, being able to understand the voices around me, the feeling of not standing out. Everything. I miss everything.
Homesickness is a horrible feeling of longing for something that's yours, that you can have, that's basically right there right now and always will be - only it's so impossibly not yours anymore, and you can't have it, and it's so very far away. But as much as I hate homesickness, I really love homesickness. I crave it when I'm home and taking everything above for granted. It's probably one of the major draws to traveling.
Yea, you're right, I am insane.
"Where are you from?"
For such a harmless question, it's amazing how much this kills me. I try not to think of home, and then BAM all the memories come rushing back with those four simple words. As soon as they begin to stumble out of a stranger's mouth, I get so uneasy. My body tenses up and I need to catch my breath, then I brace myself and wait as long as possible to answer. If at all possible (like if I'm in a large group) I usually manage to avoid answering, but the memories still linger.
If it's just me, how can I explain why I'd rather not answer? So I answer.
"America."
I wince. And the nostalgia takes over. It hurts to say, "America." It's like saying the name of a long lost lover or a recently deceased friend. The shock of that question brings me unexpectedly back in time, or maybe it reminds me of reality. Whatever it does, it transports me to a strangely familiar/familiarly strange place. It's an unwelcome trip that I'm never prepared for.
One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a country road one cozy evening - the best piece of pie you have ever eaten in your life - and can never find again. After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a new home that has nicer wallpaper and a more efficient dishwasher than the home in which you grew up. -Lemony Snicket
Moral of the story: It's becoming more and more difficult to think about home without wishing for a billion little fishing lines to pull me through the Pacific Ocean, across the Mojave desert, and onto a Calvert County pier.
Dad wants to know what he can bring for me when we meet in Beijing. He's bringing me shoes, but what I really want is an hour in the size nine aisle of Payless. As much as I wanted to get away from some of these things seven months ago, I have to admit I really miss Payless, Chipotle, Borders, Target, Wawa, Panera Bread, CVS, ordering Chinese take-out, the fat-free option, indie movie theaters, driving, College Park, my grandparents' houses, summer barbeques, diversity, American architecture, proper English on signs, my real cell phone, my friends' voices, the nearness of everything I've ever known, Washington DC, the metro, football, baseball, searching for medium sizes while shopping instead the largest possible sizes, being an American girl, being able to understand the voices around me, the feeling of not standing out. Everything. I miss everything.
Homesickness is a horrible feeling of longing for something that's yours, that you can have, that's basically right there right now and always will be - only it's so impossibly not yours anymore, and you can't have it, and it's so very far away. But as much as I hate homesickness, I really love homesickness. I crave it when I'm home and taking everything above for granted. It's probably one of the major draws to traveling.
Yea, you're right, I am insane.
July 30, 2009
guilty
Ok, I am so sorry I broke my vow to write weekly. I'll try my best to keep it from now on. Even if I only sit in my apartment and stare at the wall, I'll think of something to share. There have been a few things worth writing about in the past month, I guess. Wow, it's really been a month. I feel incredibly guilty.
One event worth mentioning was the much-anticipated Mudfest, which was three weeks ago now. Basically all the foreigners scattered throughout the country hopped on trains and made their way to Boryeong, a fun little beach town on the west coast.
Mudfest is an annual thing, and it's exactly as the name implies: a mud party on the beach. It's super popular with foreigners, which makes sense as we've all come to Korea to work with kids and put off the real world for a year. Of course we can't resist the idea of playing in mud. The ever-amazing Joanne arranged our train tickets and hotel rooms. That was a hundred bucks, but everything on the beach - mud self-massage, mud slide, mud prison, colored mud, mud wrestling, mud games, etc - it was all free. Basically I painted myself with mud, slid down a mud slide, washed off in the ocean, and repeated. It was fun while it lasted, but ultimately we got rained out. It was too cold in only a bathing suit, so we took it indoors. We saw beautiful fireworks from the comfort of a dry, warm bar. Although my friends and I decided to take an earlier train home the next day, the silver lining is I met some awesome people who live in my area. I met one awesome person in particular, but that's all I'm saying for the mo ;)
China can't come soon enough. As far as Korea goes, lately I feel like I've run out of new experiences, new things to try. It's a terrible feeling. I made a list of everything I wanted to do, there are about two things left on that list, and with five months left, I can't shake the feeling that I should have stretched things out. I did try one new thing the other night. A new Korean dish I hadn't eaten before, and I got that old familiar feeling, the excitement of trying something new. It's like a drug, that feeling, and I have a hunch it's going to be what sways my decisions for the next few years. For instance, I've been thinking a lot about how exotic South America would be once I say goodbye to Korea...
The new teacher at my school is an amazing girl who spent two years in the Peace Corps in Mongolia. She has completely inspired me, but it also doesn't hurt that she insists it isn't as difficult as I thought to get into the program. So, as off the wall as it sounds, I see the Peace Corps in my future now. I don't know when I'll apply, but I know now I definitely will.
She came with me last weekend to see a concert in Incheon, which is about two hours away, but worth the time spent on public transport. Randomly, one of my favorite bands was in Korea. I was ecstatic to have the chance to see them here of all places. Concerts in Korea are lovely. No mosh pits? at a Deftones show? Sweet.
Children in Korea get one month off in the summer. It's this month. So my classes have been emptier this week, and will be for the next few weeks as kids go on vacation with their families. I'm glad my students get a break from their hectic schedules. The thing I'm not happy about is that they still go to their private school. Just have to keep telling myself I have a whole nine days off only three weeks from now. God, I need a vacation. Working full-time is rough. How do people do it for years on end?
Tomorrow is Ryan's birthday (and also Harry Potter's and J.K. Rowling's). Happy birthday, Ryan! I love you this much. My brother is 24 years old. That by itself makes me feel so damn grown-up, but it's especially scary since it means I'll be 23 soon. I know most of you think 23 is still young, but to me it's terrifying to think I'm gliding into my mid-twenties with no real prospects. Gasp. I feel a quarter life crisis coming on.
One event worth mentioning was the much-anticipated Mudfest, which was three weeks ago now. Basically all the foreigners scattered throughout the country hopped on trains and made their way to Boryeong, a fun little beach town on the west coast.
Mudfest is an annual thing, and it's exactly as the name implies: a mud party on the beach. It's super popular with foreigners, which makes sense as we've all come to Korea to work with kids and put off the real world for a year. Of course we can't resist the idea of playing in mud. The ever-amazing Joanne arranged our train tickets and hotel rooms. That was a hundred bucks, but everything on the beach - mud self-massage, mud slide, mud prison, colored mud, mud wrestling, mud games, etc - it was all free. Basically I painted myself with mud, slid down a mud slide, washed off in the ocean, and repeated. It was fun while it lasted, but ultimately we got rained out. It was too cold in only a bathing suit, so we took it indoors. We saw beautiful fireworks from the comfort of a dry, warm bar. Although my friends and I decided to take an earlier train home the next day, the silver lining is I met some awesome people who live in my area. I met one awesome person in particular, but that's all I'm saying for the mo ;)
China can't come soon enough. As far as Korea goes, lately I feel like I've run out of new experiences, new things to try. It's a terrible feeling. I made a list of everything I wanted to do, there are about two things left on that list, and with five months left, I can't shake the feeling that I should have stretched things out. I did try one new thing the other night. A new Korean dish I hadn't eaten before, and I got that old familiar feeling, the excitement of trying something new. It's like a drug, that feeling, and I have a hunch it's going to be what sways my decisions for the next few years. For instance, I've been thinking a lot about how exotic South America would be once I say goodbye to Korea...
The new teacher at my school is an amazing girl who spent two years in the Peace Corps in Mongolia. She has completely inspired me, but it also doesn't hurt that she insists it isn't as difficult as I thought to get into the program. So, as off the wall as it sounds, I see the Peace Corps in my future now. I don't know when I'll apply, but I know now I definitely will.
She came with me last weekend to see a concert in Incheon, which is about two hours away, but worth the time spent on public transport. Randomly, one of my favorite bands was in Korea. I was ecstatic to have the chance to see them here of all places. Concerts in Korea are lovely. No mosh pits? at a Deftones show? Sweet.
Children in Korea get one month off in the summer. It's this month. So my classes have been emptier this week, and will be for the next few weeks as kids go on vacation with their families. I'm glad my students get a break from their hectic schedules. The thing I'm not happy about is that they still go to their private school. Just have to keep telling myself I have a whole nine days off only three weeks from now. God, I need a vacation. Working full-time is rough. How do people do it for years on end?
Tomorrow is Ryan's birthday (and also Harry Potter's and J.K. Rowling's). Happy birthday, Ryan! I love you this much. My brother is 24 years old. That by itself makes me feel so damn grown-up, but it's especially scary since it means I'll be 23 soon. I know most of you think 23 is still young, but to me it's terrifying to think I'm gliding into my mid-twenties with no real prospects. Gasp. I feel a quarter life crisis coming on.
July 03, 2009
home
Ryan and Corey did so much during their short stay here. Their very first day they ventured out to the Hwaeseong Fortress. I stayed with them for a while, but had to leave early to go to work. They miraculously found their way back to Dongtan, and I came home to find them passed out on their makeshift beds on my floor (somehow we all squeezed into my tiny apartment for a week).
The next day I didn't have to work until late in the afternoon, so I spent almost the whole day with them at the Folk Village. I hadn't been there since winter when everything was covered in snow. I was so grateful to have the whole day with them there. We had a blast. That's really the best place to take visitors in Korea.
On Saturday I tried to squeeze in as much touristy stuff as I could, which I now regret. The boys and I were so exhausted and grumpy from public transportation, walking, and being lost all day. The day started out well. We took the bus to Gangnam, ate breakfast, and went to a little cafe with Dr. Fish. The fish freaked me out, but the boys enjoyed having their feet nibbled.
From Gangnam we went to the palace. Not much to say there. I don't think the boys were impressed after I told them it wasn't the original palace, that the real one had been destroyed and rebuilt many times. I was never too impressed with the big palace. I like the smaller with the secret garden better. I kind of wish we'd done that one instead.
We hopped from touristy place to touristy place. Seodaemun Prison (which was cool as ever). Namdaemun market. Cheonggye stream. Eventually we ended up at a cute little guest house in Insadong, the traditional part of town. I was lucky to find a cheap place in such a great location. There was a shared bathroom, kitchen, and living space, but we had a private room with three beds.
On Sunday we took it easy. We were all tired and only wanted to relax. We took in a view of Seoul from atop the 63 Building. Then we made our way to COEX Mall, where we played board games for a few hours in a little board game shop. There were small groups of friends just sitting around ordering up different games from a menu, playing, and ordering another. Such an awesome way to spend a few hours. At one point Corey even asked, "Why don't we have these at home?"
Then we watched Transformers 2 together on the big screen - just like old times at home, only with Korean subtitles. We ate dinner at On the Border, but the boys couldn't appreciate how much Western restaurants cost. The awesomeness of Mexican food in Korea was lost on them.
Ultimately, I was really tired at the end of their visit from speaking so much Korean. I'm so used to relying on my friends to share the task of communicating with people here. With my brothers I was the only one who knew any Korean, so I was in charge of everything. But it was worth it. At times the boys expected me to know more Korean than I do, but I think in the end they saw just how difficult foreigner life can be.
The boys didn't get to see everything I'd hoped, but they had quite an adventure. I wish they could have stayed longer. I miss them terribly. As I watched them ride away on the airport bus at the end of their visit, my heart sank knowing I wouldn't see them again for six months. My heart is still pretty sunk.
On a happy note, I booked a ticket to Beijing today. I'm definitely going! The flight was incredibly cheap, but the tourist visa for Americans is extremely expensive. It's three times as much as for visitors from any other country. The Chinese hate us.
And guess what? It just so happens my dad will also be in Beijing for the first few days of my vacation on one of his work trips. The timing couldn't be better. This means I'm going to see the Great Wall of China with my dad! So, although saying goodbye to my brothers made me so homesick this week, knowing I'll see Dad in seven weeks makes everything okay.
The next day I didn't have to work until late in the afternoon, so I spent almost the whole day with them at the Folk Village. I hadn't been there since winter when everything was covered in snow. I was so grateful to have the whole day with them there. We had a blast. That's really the best place to take visitors in Korea.
On Saturday I tried to squeeze in as much touristy stuff as I could, which I now regret. The boys and I were so exhausted and grumpy from public transportation, walking, and being lost all day. The day started out well. We took the bus to Gangnam, ate breakfast, and went to a little cafe with Dr. Fish. The fish freaked me out, but the boys enjoyed having their feet nibbled.
From Gangnam we went to the palace. Not much to say there. I don't think the boys were impressed after I told them it wasn't the original palace, that the real one had been destroyed and rebuilt many times. I was never too impressed with the big palace. I like the smaller with the secret garden better. I kind of wish we'd done that one instead.
We hopped from touristy place to touristy place. Seodaemun Prison (which was cool as ever). Namdaemun market. Cheonggye stream. Eventually we ended up at a cute little guest house in Insadong, the traditional part of town. I was lucky to find a cheap place in such a great location. There was a shared bathroom, kitchen, and living space, but we had a private room with three beds.
On Sunday we took it easy. We were all tired and only wanted to relax. We took in a view of Seoul from atop the 63 Building. Then we made our way to COEX Mall, where we played board games for a few hours in a little board game shop. There were small groups of friends just sitting around ordering up different games from a menu, playing, and ordering another. Such an awesome way to spend a few hours. At one point Corey even asked, "Why don't we have these at home?"
Then we watched Transformers 2 together on the big screen - just like old times at home, only with Korean subtitles. We ate dinner at On the Border, but the boys couldn't appreciate how much Western restaurants cost. The awesomeness of Mexican food in Korea was lost on them.
Ultimately, I was really tired at the end of their visit from speaking so much Korean. I'm so used to relying on my friends to share the task of communicating with people here. With my brothers I was the only one who knew any Korean, so I was in charge of everything. But it was worth it. At times the boys expected me to know more Korean than I do, but I think in the end they saw just how difficult foreigner life can be.
The boys didn't get to see everything I'd hoped, but they had quite an adventure. I wish they could have stayed longer. I miss them terribly. As I watched them ride away on the airport bus at the end of their visit, my heart sank knowing I wouldn't see them again for six months. My heart is still pretty sunk.
On a happy note, I booked a ticket to Beijing today. I'm definitely going! The flight was incredibly cheap, but the tourist visa for Americans is extremely expensive. It's three times as much as for visitors from any other country. The Chinese hate us.
And guess what? It just so happens my dad will also be in Beijing for the first few days of my vacation on one of his work trips. The timing couldn't be better. This means I'm going to see the Great Wall of China with my dad! So, although saying goodbye to my brothers made me so homesick this week, knowing I'll see Dad in seven weeks makes everything okay.
June 24, 2009
the zombie life
I wanted to share this with you. The essay topic was, Write about a typical day in the life of an animal, a living person, a dead person, anyone, or anything. I was hoping to get some interesting, creative stories out of my students. Here's the one that really blew me away, and made me laugh out loud a few times.
This morning when I woke up, I ate four eyeballs and drank a cup of hot blood. The eyeballs tasted sweet and delicious, because they have a lot of blood. I like to eat this for breakfast, because I'm a zombie.
After breakfast, I went to the zombie village. I saw a child who found his brain. I also saw some grandma eat her own finger. It's 12 o'clock. I feel hungry, so I go to a restaurant named “Yummy People!” I think this name is great. When I go inside, a couple is on a date, but the boyfriend feels hungry, so he eats his girlfriend's heart. I think it is romantic. I call the waiter, and I see a handsome waiter, because he doesn't have a head. I order 100 hearts for lunch, and I eat fried fingers. It tastes awesome!
After lunch, I leave the zombie village. First I go to New York. There, I eat Bill Gates. He tastes good. Next, I go to Seoul. I see Lee Myung Bak [Korea's unpopular president], so I cut off his head. Then I go to City Hall. There are a lot of people here. So I eat all of them. I feel full, so I go back to my home. I cut off my head, and change my head. Today's head is heavy zombie, and tomorrow's is light zombie. After I change my head, I go to sleep.
This morning when I woke up, I ate four eyeballs and drank a cup of hot blood. The eyeballs tasted sweet and delicious, because they have a lot of blood. I like to eat this for breakfast, because I'm a zombie.
After breakfast, I went to the zombie village. I saw a child who found his brain. I also saw some grandma eat her own finger. It's 12 o'clock. I feel hungry, so I go to a restaurant named “Yummy People!” I think this name is great. When I go inside, a couple is on a date, but the boyfriend feels hungry, so he eats his girlfriend's heart. I think it is romantic. I call the waiter, and I see a handsome waiter, because he doesn't have a head. I order 100 hearts for lunch, and I eat fried fingers. It tastes awesome!
After lunch, I leave the zombie village. First I go to New York. There, I eat Bill Gates. He tastes good. Next, I go to Seoul. I see Lee Myung Bak [Korea's unpopular president], so I cut off his head. Then I go to City Hall. There are a lot of people here. So I eat all of them. I feel full, so I go back to my home. I cut off my head, and change my head. Today's head is heavy zombie, and tomorrow's is light zombie. After I change my head, I go to sleep.
June 23, 2009
villages
A couple weekends ago I went camping and rock climbing outside a teeny-tiny, remote Korean village called Wonju, east of Seoul. Just me and T and two guys who also teach in our town. We took a train to the nearest station. And from there a cab took us through a maze of run-down single-story homes and businesses to the park's entrance.
When we arrived I noticed the layout was really simple: just a few minboks, snack shops and restaurants lined up at the top of a hill along a road that ran parallel to the river, which in turn ran parallel to the face of the cliff. The cliff was what everyone came there for, and the snaking of ropes was a constant as climbers maneuvered up set routes at the base of the cliff. Most impressive were the climbers doing multi-pitches - route after route, climbing several stories high, all the way to the top of the cliff.
The site was enveloped by steep rocks and small, tree-covered mountains. There were campsites available along the wide and shallow river, and we slept by the sandy banks. Four of us shared a two person tent! There were basic facilities for campers provided for free. Very basic. It was the very definition of rural, so squatting toilets were the only option. I was forced use them for the first time, after somehow avoiding them for the first six months.
My friend T is gradually becoming an expert climber, and she introduced me to the sport. We found a group of foreigners that T either knew from a previous climbing trip, or quickly befriended. They let us take turns borrowing their rope and a pair of climbing shoes. The route she chose for me to climb was pretty easy, limestone with plenty of footholds and deep finger pockets.
A lot of people were there to spend the weekend rock climbing. All of the routes were occupied, and while people waited their turn, it was fun to watch other climbers and cheer them on. Despite the popularity of this park, it still always felt completely secluded and was not at all crowded.
Rock climbing - real rock climbing, not the kind you do on a fake wall - was instantly something I knew I loved. Getting to the top was challenging as hell, but looking down with that sense of accomplishment was exhilarating. I'm considering whether to get the proper shoes and a harness so I can do it again while I'm here. It's popular here in Korea.
There was a two-story, sit-on-the-floor style restaurant a short distance from the campsite. We made the trek and had a nice dinner on the top floor with other foreigners we'd met. The night ended with an outdoor, rave-esque noraebang with a group of middle-aged Koreans wearing glow necklaces. Then, drinking North Korean soju around the campfire on the beach. T had been saving the soju for a special occasion ever since she purchased it on the DMZ trip.
In the middle of the night, I made friends with a Korean kid whose face I didn't see, but who shouted questions to me from across the river then waited to decode my English before asking more and more. It all came back to me the next morning when, to my surprise, a chubby Korean boy passed me on the pavement and asked, "Are you Amanda?" After racking my brain, I told him, "Oh yea! Nice to finally meet you!"
Thanks to soju, I was not feeling well the next day. Luckily the boys asked around and found a man who spoke some English, and who helped them order a large batch of chicken soup from one of the restaurants. (Much later, I found out this dish is called samgyetang.) As we waited for T to finish up a climb, the boys and I walked barefoot in the stone-lined river to a short waterfall that spanned the entire length of the river. Afterwards, I lay on the sand and closed my eyes for a couple of hours. The rest of the waeguk slowly trickled over to join me after a while.
We hitched a ride to the train station from someone we met in the park. I was really grateful, as there was no chance of finding a taxi and it would have been a long walk. T lucked out and got a ticket for the last available seat on the train. So I wouldn't have to stand the whole ride north, in desperate, very broken Korean I convinced the ticket woman to check for last-minute cancellations. But still with no luck, I said goodbye to Wonju and headed home.
In more recent news, Ryan and Corey are going to be in Korea tomorrow! They're on the long plane ride over as I type this. My apartment is spotless in anticipation of their arrival and the inevitable mess that will ensue.
When we arrived I noticed the layout was really simple: just a few minboks, snack shops and restaurants lined up at the top of a hill along a road that ran parallel to the river, which in turn ran parallel to the face of the cliff. The cliff was what everyone came there for, and the snaking of ropes was a constant as climbers maneuvered up set routes at the base of the cliff. Most impressive were the climbers doing multi-pitches - route after route, climbing several stories high, all the way to the top of the cliff.
The site was enveloped by steep rocks and small, tree-covered mountains. There were campsites available along the wide and shallow river, and we slept by the sandy banks. Four of us shared a two person tent! There were basic facilities for campers provided for free. Very basic. It was the very definition of rural, so squatting toilets were the only option. I was forced use them for the first time, after somehow avoiding them for the first six months.
My friend T is gradually becoming an expert climber, and she introduced me to the sport. We found a group of foreigners that T either knew from a previous climbing trip, or quickly befriended. They let us take turns borrowing their rope and a pair of climbing shoes. The route she chose for me to climb was pretty easy, limestone with plenty of footholds and deep finger pockets.
A lot of people were there to spend the weekend rock climbing. All of the routes were occupied, and while people waited their turn, it was fun to watch other climbers and cheer them on. Despite the popularity of this park, it still always felt completely secluded and was not at all crowded.
Rock climbing - real rock climbing, not the kind you do on a fake wall - was instantly something I knew I loved. Getting to the top was challenging as hell, but looking down with that sense of accomplishment was exhilarating. I'm considering whether to get the proper shoes and a harness so I can do it again while I'm here. It's popular here in Korea.
There was a two-story, sit-on-the-floor style restaurant a short distance from the campsite. We made the trek and had a nice dinner on the top floor with other foreigners we'd met. The night ended with an outdoor, rave-esque noraebang with a group of middle-aged Koreans wearing glow necklaces. Then, drinking North Korean soju around the campfire on the beach. T had been saving the soju for a special occasion ever since she purchased it on the DMZ trip.
In the middle of the night, I made friends with a Korean kid whose face I didn't see, but who shouted questions to me from across the river then waited to decode my English before asking more and more. It all came back to me the next morning when, to my surprise, a chubby Korean boy passed me on the pavement and asked, "Are you Amanda?" After racking my brain, I told him, "Oh yea! Nice to finally meet you!"
Thanks to soju, I was not feeling well the next day. Luckily the boys asked around and found a man who spoke some English, and who helped them order a large batch of chicken soup from one of the restaurants. (Much later, I found out this dish is called samgyetang.) As we waited for T to finish up a climb, the boys and I walked barefoot in the stone-lined river to a short waterfall that spanned the entire length of the river. Afterwards, I lay on the sand and closed my eyes for a couple of hours. The rest of the waeguk slowly trickled over to join me after a while.
We hitched a ride to the train station from someone we met in the park. I was really grateful, as there was no chance of finding a taxi and it would have been a long walk. T lucked out and got a ticket for the last available seat on the train. So I wouldn't have to stand the whole ride north, in desperate, very broken Korean I convinced the ticket woman to check for last-minute cancellations. But still with no luck, I said goodbye to Wonju and headed home.
In more recent news, Ryan and Corey are going to be in Korea tomorrow! They're on the long plane ride over as I type this. My apartment is spotless in anticipation of their arrival and the inevitable mess that will ensue.
June 07, 2009
seoul grand park
I watched sea lions swimming, badgers play-fighting, and baby giraffes nursing today. I also saw lions and tigers and bears. Oh my.
The weather was absolutely perfect for a day in Seoul Grand Park. My cheeks are sunburnt, despite a threat of rain this afternoon, which kept a lot of tourists away. I had the zoo all to myself. I took a billion pictures.
I now know how celebrities (and zoo animals) must feel. Although I've been here "alone" for months, I rarely do anything by myself. When I do venture out I never stay alone - I'm always approached by someone who wants to practice their English or is just curious about me. Typically it's been older Korean men, like cute old grandpas. One stopped me while I was on my bike this morning. The other sat next to me while waiting for the subway. The script looks like this:
Grandpa: Good morning! (Subway grandpa said it at 7pm.)
Me: Hello.
G: Where are you from?
Me: I'm American.
G: I think you are an English teacher.
Me: That's right.
G: [Broken English life story.] Then, I lived in [English-speaking country] for [#] years.
Me: Oh, yea? Well, your English is really good.
G: Thank you. [A jumble of English to show what he knows.]
Me: The light's green/this is my train. It was very nice to meet you.
Subway grandpa looked me right in the eye and saluted me here. I burst out laughing. He was ridiculous. When he spoke he shouted, didn't pause between ideas, and looked at a vacuum in space to the right of my shoulder. When he finally did look me in the eye it was shocking!
The thing is, Koreans see my foreign face, assume I speak English, and switch to English mode immediately. I never really get a chance to practice Korean, because they have the reflexes of a cat! Someone bumps me, glances at me for a split second, instantaneously says, "Sorry."
Anyway, I counted and I was one of only six foreigners in the zoo today. I was the only foreigner in the art gallery. Ah, the art gallery. I checked out the National Museum of Contemporary Art, because it was right in the park. I can't decide if I was just hungry and grumpy or if I have something against Korean artists. I just wasn't feeling it. I forced myself to stick it out, give it a chance before making up an excuse to exit early. Before leaving I sat in the stark white atrium and told the gallery: "Listen, I know there's someone out there who's perfect for you. It's just not me."
The weather was absolutely perfect for a day in Seoul Grand Park. My cheeks are sunburnt, despite a threat of rain this afternoon, which kept a lot of tourists away. I had the zoo all to myself. I took a billion pictures.
I now know how celebrities (and zoo animals) must feel. Although I've been here "alone" for months, I rarely do anything by myself. When I do venture out I never stay alone - I'm always approached by someone who wants to practice their English or is just curious about me. Typically it's been older Korean men, like cute old grandpas. One stopped me while I was on my bike this morning. The other sat next to me while waiting for the subway. The script looks like this:
Grandpa: Good morning! (Subway grandpa said it at 7pm.)
Me: Hello.
G: Where are you from?
Me: I'm American.
G: I think you are an English teacher.
Me: That's right.
G: [Broken English life story.] Then, I lived in [English-speaking country] for [#] years.
Me: Oh, yea? Well, your English is really good.
G: Thank you. [A jumble of English to show what he knows.]
Me: The light's green/this is my train. It was very nice to meet you.
Subway grandpa looked me right in the eye and saluted me here. I burst out laughing. He was ridiculous. When he spoke he shouted, didn't pause between ideas, and looked at a vacuum in space to the right of my shoulder. When he finally did look me in the eye it was shocking!
The thing is, Koreans see my foreign face, assume I speak English, and switch to English mode immediately. I never really get a chance to practice Korean, because they have the reflexes of a cat! Someone bumps me, glances at me for a split second, instantaneously says, "Sorry."
Anyway, I counted and I was one of only six foreigners in the zoo today. I was the only foreigner in the art gallery. Ah, the art gallery. I checked out the National Museum of Contemporary Art, because it was right in the park. I can't decide if I was just hungry and grumpy or if I have something against Korean artists. I just wasn't feeling it. I forced myself to stick it out, give it a chance before making up an excuse to exit early. Before leaving I sat in the stark white atrium and told the gallery: "Listen, I know there's someone out there who's perfect for you. It's just not me."
June 03, 2009
to the dmz
The DMZ. The experience wasn't what I expected. I wasn't afraid at all, even with all this nonsense in the news, North Korea didn't scare me. The whole tour actually just left me with an uneasy sense that the South Koreans are putting as much effort into feeding propaganda to their people as the North. This was not the conclusion I expected to come to at all.
I didn't pay for the Panmunjom tour, which would have allowed me to see the JSA, the line where you can see North Korean soldiers staring down South Korean soldiers. I've already decided I'm going back to the DMZ in a few weeks to do the more expensive tour where you get to see the JSA and go inside the building where the two countries always meet to have talks. I can't leave Korea without going there and being able to say I was technically in North Korea.
That being said, my tour did include some interesting stuff. First we walked through the Third Tunnel of Aggression. We put on hard hats and hiked down a really steep tunnel made by the South in order to show tourists a tunnel made by the North, apparently to be used for a surprise attack on Seoul.
Whatever, I didn't buy it. The whole thing smelled of propaganda. I don't know why, but I just automatically assumed the South made the tunnel to make the North look bad. Walking through the tunnel was uncomfortable and scary; the ceiling was too low to walk upright and I kept worrying the narrow walls would cave in. At the end of the tunnel is barbed wire and a little window where I could peek into the North's side of the tunnel. We weren't allowed to take pictures.
After the tunnel, we took some pictures outside in this little area full of so much propaganda. There were statues symbolic of the two countries reuniting. It was super touristy and fun, which was odd since we were supposedly in an area covered in land mines dropped carelessly by the North. Do you see what I mean about the propaganda?
Then we hopped on the bus and went to the area where you're allowed to see North Korea. We had to stand behind a yellow line to take pictures, so I have no proof of this, but I got to see North Korea with my own eyes! For some reason I am extremely fascinated by the DPRK, so it was really exciting to be looking right at it. Maybe it has something to do with being able to look but never touch. It makes things so much more interesting.
Amazingly, there is a fake town set up in North Korea about a mile from the border. The government built it there and (as if it wasn't special enough holding the title for the world's most bizarre town) added the world's tallest flag and flagpole. Through a telescope I could see it, a village of empty buildings planted into the hillside. I wanted to stare at it for ever. All I could think was, Why does this exist? What kind of world do I live in where a "town" like this can exist?
The reunification propaganda continued after that when we went to Dorasan Station. It's a fake (in my opinion) railroad station built on the spot that once connected North and South Korea. A station has been rebuilt/restored there and now its train makes a short trip everyday to a small factory or something. I don't know the details. There is no service for real passengers though. I got the sense this place only existed to give people hope that one day the two countries would get back together. As a child of divorced parents, I can understand the feeling, but I say at some point you need to give up hope and just move on.
On Sunday I went on a lovely picnic in the park. There are some pictures of that in the slideshow, along with some pictures of my classroom and my (so far hidden) life as a teacher. Anyway, after the picnic I saw the new Terminator movie. I'll never get over watching American action movies with Korean subtitles in a theater where I'm one of the only foreigners. It's so awesome for some reason. Good for homesickness, too. Then, on Monday night I ate raw, squirming octopus, a very Korean experience. Check out the pictures. They'll make you laugh and they'll probably make your mouth water, too.
My brothers are coming to Korea in three weeks. I'll be super busy planning their visit. I can't wait. It's pretty much all I can think about! Okay, here are the pictures from this weekend.
I didn't pay for the Panmunjom tour, which would have allowed me to see the JSA, the line where you can see North Korean soldiers staring down South Korean soldiers. I've already decided I'm going back to the DMZ in a few weeks to do the more expensive tour where you get to see the JSA and go inside the building where the two countries always meet to have talks. I can't leave Korea without going there and being able to say I was technically in North Korea.
That being said, my tour did include some interesting stuff. First we walked through the Third Tunnel of Aggression. We put on hard hats and hiked down a really steep tunnel made by the South in order to show tourists a tunnel made by the North, apparently to be used for a surprise attack on Seoul.
Whatever, I didn't buy it. The whole thing smelled of propaganda. I don't know why, but I just automatically assumed the South made the tunnel to make the North look bad. Walking through the tunnel was uncomfortable and scary; the ceiling was too low to walk upright and I kept worrying the narrow walls would cave in. At the end of the tunnel is barbed wire and a little window where I could peek into the North's side of the tunnel. We weren't allowed to take pictures.
After the tunnel, we took some pictures outside in this little area full of so much propaganda. There were statues symbolic of the two countries reuniting. It was super touristy and fun, which was odd since we were supposedly in an area covered in land mines dropped carelessly by the North. Do you see what I mean about the propaganda?
Then we hopped on the bus and went to the area where you're allowed to see North Korea. We had to stand behind a yellow line to take pictures, so I have no proof of this, but I got to see North Korea with my own eyes! For some reason I am extremely fascinated by the DPRK, so it was really exciting to be looking right at it. Maybe it has something to do with being able to look but never touch. It makes things so much more interesting.
Amazingly, there is a fake town set up in North Korea about a mile from the border. The government built it there and (as if it wasn't special enough holding the title for the world's most bizarre town) added the world's tallest flag and flagpole. Through a telescope I could see it, a village of empty buildings planted into the hillside. I wanted to stare at it for ever. All I could think was, Why does this exist? What kind of world do I live in where a "town" like this can exist?
The reunification propaganda continued after that when we went to Dorasan Station. It's a fake (in my opinion) railroad station built on the spot that once connected North and South Korea. A station has been rebuilt/restored there and now its train makes a short trip everyday to a small factory or something. I don't know the details. There is no service for real passengers though. I got the sense this place only existed to give people hope that one day the two countries would get back together. As a child of divorced parents, I can understand the feeling, but I say at some point you need to give up hope and just move on.
On Sunday I went on a lovely picnic in the park. There are some pictures of that in the slideshow, along with some pictures of my classroom and my (so far hidden) life as a teacher. Anyway, after the picnic I saw the new Terminator movie. I'll never get over watching American action movies with Korean subtitles in a theater where I'm one of the only foreigners. It's so awesome for some reason. Good for homesickness, too. Then, on Monday night I ate raw, squirming octopus, a very Korean experience. Check out the pictures. They'll make you laugh and they'll probably make your mouth water, too.
My brothers are coming to Korea in three weeks. I'll be super busy planning their visit. I can't wait. It's pretty much all I can think about! Okay, here are the pictures from this weekend.
May 28, 2009
good news bad news
Ryan will be in Korea on June 24th! I'd been feeling pretty homesick and found myself counting down already. But Ryan will be here in like four weeks! I love that I now have something involving home to look forward to that isn't seven months away. Needless to say, this is the best news ever!
But there's some (sort of) bad news, too. I picked a perfect time to be going to the DMZ. I've wanted to go since before I even got here, and now, as I finally get set to go this Saturday, North Korea decides to throw a fit. I'm still going to go, but I'll probably feel completely uneasy the whole time.
Click here to read the rest, if you're interested.
But there's some (sort of) bad news, too. I picked a perfect time to be going to the DMZ. I've wanted to go since before I even got here, and now, as I finally get set to go this Saturday, North Korea decides to throw a fit. I'm still going to go, but I'll probably feel completely uneasy the whole time.
North Korea Threatens Military Strikes on South
By CHOE SANG-HUN
May 27, 2009
SEOUL, South Korea — The South Korean and American militaries on Thursday raised their level of alert on North Korea, a day after the Communist North threatened a military clash.
The militaries, which include 25,000 United States troops based in South Korea, raised the alert from Level 3 to Level 2, the Defense Ministry of South Korea said. The shift involves a significant increase in reconnaissance flights and spy satellite activities, as well as more vigorous gathering and analysis of electronic data from the North for signs of possible provocations, ministry officials said.
Level 2 is the second highest level of vigilance and it is invoked when military officials fear “a grave threat” from the North, the defense officials said.
On Wednesday North Korea escalated its vitriol against South Korea and the United States, warning of a “powerful military strike” if any North Korean ships were stopped or searched as part of an American-led operation to intercept vessels suspected of carrying unconventional weapons.
South Korea agreed to join the operation after North Korea tested a nuclear device on Monday, its second nuclear test in three years. The North had earlier warned the South not to participate in the operation, known as the Proliferation Security Initiative.
“We consider this a declaration of war against us,” North Korea said in a statement carried by its official news agency, KCNA. “Any hostile act against our peaceful vessels, including search and seizure, will be considered an unpardonable infringement on our sovereignty, and we will immediately respond with a powerful military strike.”
The North Koreans also said in the statement that they “no longer feel bound by the armistice” that ended the fighting in the 1950-53 Korean War. Technically, the two Koreas have remained at war for more than 50 years, because the 1953 armistice was never replaced with a final peace treaty. The North Koreans had previously called the armistice a “useless piece of paper” and declared that they no longer felt bound by it. But they have rarely used the threat of abandoning the armistice...
Click here to read the rest, if you're interested.
May 25, 2009
unstuck in time
I spent so much money on shoes this weekend. Alex brought me to a place in Itaewon that has imported plus-size clothes and shoes. Row upon row of shoes that actually fit my feet! It was glorious. I've never paid so much for shoes in my life, but it was worth it - I'd been wearing the same shoes for five months!
Itaewon is always interesting. I haven't been in that part of Seoul since my newbie days, back in blog entry two or three ;) It's right outside an Army base, so it's swarming with Americans and other foreigners. There was a small foreign goods store just like in Songtan, with groceries from home. But Itaewon is better than Songtan, because it has its own used (and new) English bookstore called What The Book, and it has tons of restaurants to choose from. I had Thai food that night for the first time since I got here - it had been way too long.
Everytime I stay for a while in one of the expat areas I always really enjoy the homecoming feeling I get. But at the same time, I'm always grateful I get to leave, because it reminds me of the negative aspects of home and the reasons I left in the first place. I was glad to have Dongtan and real Korean people to come home to. Seoul Koreans are a special brand, it's hard to describe.
Yesterday I went to the National Museum of Korea. I loved loved loved it. The building and grounds are gorgeous and dramatic. There were times I felt like I stepped back in Korean time, especially while wandering through the pagoda garden. We only had time to see a couple exhibits, it would take several trips to see every exhibit of the museum's three floors.
I already want to go back, and I wish I'd visited sooner. It would have given me a different appreciation for this country if I had known its history. As an American I don't know what it feels like to belong to such a sophisticated past. Korea has old roots, which are hard to see today outside the walls of the museum. Past Korea, so in touch with nature, and with its superstitions and traditions, must have been a magical time to be alive. Like a fairy tale, dragons and monsters were real.
All of my students know this history, it's in their blood like the fourth of July is in mine. But Koreans have had a place to call home for so much longer than us Americans. In general I've just always envied people who grew up in one place, only read the morning paper over one kitchen table, fallen asleep to the moon climbing across one bedroom window. I envy Koreans in the same way - to have something so constant, memories of home with a physical place to settle.
Every month my older students write three essays. I pick the topics and I try to make them something the kids will be interested to write about. But lately I pick topics more so I'll have fun reading them. Some of my favorite ideas are things like, "How would you survive at the end of the world?" and "What would you do on a deserted island?" The last essay this month was, "Where/when would you go if you had a time machine?" Those essays have been fun for them to write I think, and equally fun for me to read. And they've got me thinking, obviously. Maybe I don't really want to travel in trains and planes, maybe what I really want is a round-trip ticket for a time machine. Maybe I've been watching too many movies.
Itaewon is always interesting. I haven't been in that part of Seoul since my newbie days, back in blog entry two or three ;) It's right outside an Army base, so it's swarming with Americans and other foreigners. There was a small foreign goods store just like in Songtan, with groceries from home. But Itaewon is better than Songtan, because it has its own used (and new) English bookstore called What The Book, and it has tons of restaurants to choose from. I had Thai food that night for the first time since I got here - it had been way too long.
Everytime I stay for a while in one of the expat areas I always really enjoy the homecoming feeling I get. But at the same time, I'm always grateful I get to leave, because it reminds me of the negative aspects of home and the reasons I left in the first place. I was glad to have Dongtan and real Korean people to come home to. Seoul Koreans are a special brand, it's hard to describe.
Yesterday I went to the National Museum of Korea. I loved loved loved it. The building and grounds are gorgeous and dramatic. There were times I felt like I stepped back in Korean time, especially while wandering through the pagoda garden. We only had time to see a couple exhibits, it would take several trips to see every exhibit of the museum's three floors.
I already want to go back, and I wish I'd visited sooner. It would have given me a different appreciation for this country if I had known its history. As an American I don't know what it feels like to belong to such a sophisticated past. Korea has old roots, which are hard to see today outside the walls of the museum. Past Korea, so in touch with nature, and with its superstitions and traditions, must have been a magical time to be alive. Like a fairy tale, dragons and monsters were real.
All of my students know this history, it's in their blood like the fourth of July is in mine. But Koreans have had a place to call home for so much longer than us Americans. In general I've just always envied people who grew up in one place, only read the morning paper over one kitchen table, fallen asleep to the moon climbing across one bedroom window. I envy Koreans in the same way - to have something so constant, memories of home with a physical place to settle.
Every month my older students write three essays. I pick the topics and I try to make them something the kids will be interested to write about. But lately I pick topics more so I'll have fun reading them. Some of my favorite ideas are things like, "How would you survive at the end of the world?" and "What would you do on a deserted island?" The last essay this month was, "Where/when would you go if you had a time machine?" Those essays have been fun for them to write I think, and equally fun for me to read. And they've got me thinking, obviously. Maybe I don't really want to travel in trains and planes, maybe what I really want is a round-trip ticket for a time machine. Maybe I've been watching too many movies.
May 17, 2009
반갑습니다
Two weeks just disappeared. Not much new here in Dongtan. I started studying Korean. I figured I'm fast approaching the five month mark, I should probably get cracking on the books. It makes me so proud to learn even the most basic words. Also, being able to understand some Korean is a good way to gain street cred with my students.
I've been paying a lot of attention to the graduations on facebook. I think about what that time was like for me this time last year: the May heat, the happy agonizing walk through campus after my last lecture, my final final, how it felt to see my family with huge smiles, weaving through the crowd to pose with me in my cap and gown. I figure those memories will come back to me every year around this time. Yet this year will probably be the hardest, because as I watch the younger generation catch up to me, I can't help but feel they're also kind of lapping me.
But my Grammy once told me she never found her niche and that I should do whatever it takes to find mine. So I'll let myself get lapped for a few years - it's worth it.
I realized that this year is like my gap year, a luxury usually only afforded to rich European kids. I sometimes feel ridiculously spoiled in this lifestyle, and like it can't last forever. But then I tell myself I'll only live once so why not stay abroad as long as I want, even if it makes me so happy I actually feel guilty?
Friday was Teachers' Day in Korea. I got a couple flowers from students. My fellow teachers got some interesting, random gifts: candy, gift certificates, powder, sunscreen. The best gifts are the notes that students take the time to write. The extent of broken English directly correlates to the student's age, of course, but as you can probably imagine, the more broken the English the cuter the note. Younger students are more likely to give gifts because they have less teachers. As I've mentioned before, older kids have crazy busy schedules. They go to regular school, math academy, Korean academy, music lessons, Taekwondo, and then my class.
Today I went back to the Hwaseong Fortress with a large group of expats and one soldier stationed in Camp Casey (by the border). It was much better this time around. The last time I was sick, so all the exercise made the walk seem longer than it actually should. I'm making plans to go to the DMZ two weeks from now. Hopefully all the plans will work out and I'll have an exciting blog to share soon.
I've been paying a lot of attention to the graduations on facebook. I think about what that time was like for me this time last year: the May heat, the happy agonizing walk through campus after my last lecture, my final final, how it felt to see my family with huge smiles, weaving through the crowd to pose with me in my cap and gown. I figure those memories will come back to me every year around this time. Yet this year will probably be the hardest, because as I watch the younger generation catch up to me, I can't help but feel they're also kind of lapping me.
But my Grammy once told me she never found her niche and that I should do whatever it takes to find mine. So I'll let myself get lapped for a few years - it's worth it.
I realized that this year is like my gap year, a luxury usually only afforded to rich European kids. I sometimes feel ridiculously spoiled in this lifestyle, and like it can't last forever. But then I tell myself I'll only live once so why not stay abroad as long as I want, even if it makes me so happy I actually feel guilty?
Still, despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, ever since I was sixteen years old and first went to Russia with my saved-up babysitting money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby - I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it's mine. Because it looks exactly like me. It can barf all over me if it wants to - I just don't care.
-Liz Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Friday was Teachers' Day in Korea. I got a couple flowers from students. My fellow teachers got some interesting, random gifts: candy, gift certificates, powder, sunscreen. The best gifts are the notes that students take the time to write. The extent of broken English directly correlates to the student's age, of course, but as you can probably imagine, the more broken the English the cuter the note. Younger students are more likely to give gifts because they have less teachers. As I've mentioned before, older kids have crazy busy schedules. They go to regular school, math academy, Korean academy, music lessons, Taekwondo, and then my class.
Today I went back to the Hwaseong Fortress with a large group of expats and one soldier stationed in Camp Casey (by the border). It was much better this time around. The last time I was sick, so all the exercise made the walk seem longer than it actually should. I'm making plans to go to the DMZ two weeks from now. Hopefully all the plans will work out and I'll have an exciting blog to share soon.
May 04, 2009
my backyard
It's May, so that means I've been here four months. (It also means I graduated about a year ago, which is really hard to believe.) Let's see, what's new? The class terms are four months long at my school, so last week I said goodbye to my first group of kids and met my new students. It was bittersweet. I'll miss my old kids, but it was time for a change. This term should be easier than last term, because I have two lesson plans to make instead of five. Last time I had five classes, each a different level. This time I still have five classes but three are level 6 and two are level 13. Blah, blah, boring work update, I know.
The past few days I've just been relaxing and enjoying my five day weekend due to Buddha's birthday and Childrens' Day. Thank you Buddha, thank you Korean children. I didn't have to teach Friday, today (a Monday), and I'm also off tomorrow.
I went to Songtan with Alex on Friday. She showed me where the shops are with (pretty overpriced) merch from home. I bought real gum, dill relish and flavored tootsie rolls, all of which are impossible to find here. Songtan is right outside a military base, so I guess it makes sense you can find stuff from America there. We ate Mexican and watched all the soldiers and military families walking by from the restaurant window, which was wide open due to the perfect weather. It was strangely comforting to see so many foreigners. Songtan is a weird place. It's like America Land, a little piece of home halfway around the world. Why does it exist?! I like to think it's there just for me, to help me feel closer to home.
Yesterday I had three goals: buy some new clothes, eat at On The Border, and see a movie. To kill three birds with one stone, I decided to go to COEX Mall, a ginormous shopping and entertainment complex in Seoul.
Okay, so as for goal one, I found some new clothes, which is a miracle because nothing fits me here. It goes without saying that Korean women are sticks. Now I know how overweight people at home feel when shopping. Goal one, check.
On to goal two. (Yes, I'm aware of its adverse relationship to goal one). Obviously I've staked out all Mexican restaurants within a 50 mile radius. I know there are two On The Borders in Seoul, and have been meaning to check one out. The food was exactly the same as at home. They even had sopapillas! Best Mexican I've had in Korea. Goal two, check.
Goal three was a miss. I found the giant Megaplex and was so anxious to sit in a movie theater for the first time in four months. That's a new record for me, people! I so wanted to see 스타트렉 (Star Trek), but turns out it doesn't come out here until next week. There was nothing else worth seeing. It'll have to wait till next weekend.
I discovered another—and possibly bigger—foreign book store, called Bundi and Lund. I now know where to find so many creature comforts, I'm starting think there's no reason to ever leave this country! Anyway, I found a sale copy of Pendragon, book nine. And get this: with the sale price and exchange rate, I paid less for an imported, hardback copy than I would have for the paperback at home.
Today I stayed in town and did a little exploring, just me and my bike. My allergies are killing me, but I couldn't resist the beautiful weather and all the stupid gorgeous flowers. I brought a small picnic, a blanket and some books and headed out to the park. I got restless after a while and wandered around taking tons of pictures. The park is amazing. I just relaxed in the shade right off a park trail, ran into a couple of students (bowing ensued, naturally), and really felt like I belong in this town. Just chose to ignore the young mothers pointing and proclaiming "Waeguk" to their babies every time I passed on my bike.
As a nice bonus, there was even a free show in the middle of the park. All in all today was great because I discovered some awesome things right in my own backyard. Literally right behind my building! I have a feeling I'll love springtime in Korea.
The past few days I've just been relaxing and enjoying my five day weekend due to Buddha's birthday and Childrens' Day. Thank you Buddha, thank you Korean children. I didn't have to teach Friday, today (a Monday), and I'm also off tomorrow.
I went to Songtan with Alex on Friday. She showed me where the shops are with (pretty overpriced) merch from home. I bought real gum, dill relish and flavored tootsie rolls, all of which are impossible to find here. Songtan is right outside a military base, so I guess it makes sense you can find stuff from America there. We ate Mexican and watched all the soldiers and military families walking by from the restaurant window, which was wide open due to the perfect weather. It was strangely comforting to see so many foreigners. Songtan is a weird place. It's like America Land, a little piece of home halfway around the world. Why does it exist?! I like to think it's there just for me, to help me feel closer to home.
But then, shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way -- never to be an old woman--but then--always to have lessons to learn!
Yesterday I had three goals: buy some new clothes, eat at On The Border, and see a movie. To kill three birds with one stone, I decided to go to COEX Mall, a ginormous shopping and entertainment complex in Seoul.
Okay, so as for goal one, I found some new clothes, which is a miracle because nothing fits me here. It goes without saying that Korean women are sticks. Now I know how overweight people at home feel when shopping. Goal one, check.
On to goal two. (Yes, I'm aware of its adverse relationship to goal one). Obviously I've staked out all Mexican restaurants within a 50 mile radius. I know there are two On The Borders in Seoul, and have been meaning to check one out. The food was exactly the same as at home. They even had sopapillas! Best Mexican I've had in Korea. Goal two, check.
Goal three was a miss. I found the giant Megaplex and was so anxious to sit in a movie theater for the first time in four months. That's a new record for me, people! I so wanted to see 스타트렉 (Star Trek), but turns out it doesn't come out here until next week. There was nothing else worth seeing. It'll have to wait till next weekend.
I discovered another—and possibly bigger—foreign book store, called Bundi and Lund. I now know where to find so many creature comforts, I'm starting think there's no reason to ever leave this country! Anyway, I found a sale copy of Pendragon, book nine. And get this: with the sale price and exchange rate, I paid less for an imported, hardback copy than I would have for the paperback at home.
Today I stayed in town and did a little exploring, just me and my bike. My allergies are killing me, but I couldn't resist the beautiful weather and all the stupid gorgeous flowers. I brought a small picnic, a blanket and some books and headed out to the park. I got restless after a while and wandered around taking tons of pictures. The park is amazing. I just relaxed in the shade right off a park trail, ran into a couple of students (bowing ensued, naturally), and really felt like I belong in this town. Just chose to ignore the young mothers pointing and proclaiming "Waeguk" to their babies every time I passed on my bike.
As a nice bonus, there was even a free show in the middle of the park. All in all today was great because I discovered some awesome things right in my own backyard. Literally right behind my building! I have a feeling I'll love springtime in Korea.
April 20, 2009
ridiculous
My students always say, "I is die." (They think it's hilarious, and naturally I can't help but laugh too. God they can be adorable sometimes.) Anyway, after this weekend all I keep thinking over and over is, "I is die."
For those (two? three?) of you who read my blog religiously, I wrote a while back about an upcoming paintballing and resort weekend. Time sure does fly, and this past weekend was that weekend. A big group of us foreign teachers went to a place called Yangji Pine Resort.
We left Dongtan at 8:30 in the morning. It was the earliest I've woken up for anything since I got here. We took a couple buses to a paintballing place first. It was kind of in some forests in the mountains, so we were all running around shooting each other in the middle of the woods. It was a blast. Hiding out and shooting a gun, I felt like Rambo.
After about four or five games we trekked out of the woods and back into the buses to head for lunch—well, if you can call it lunch—it was more like soju with some dalk galbi on the side. Needless to say, the order of things gets kind of hazy around lunchtime.
After lunch we went to the resort and checked into the rooms. We had three rooms for the whole group to share: two smaller rooms and one large two-floor loft room. There were plenty of yos (thick mats), blankets and pillows for everyone. In the morning, the heated floors and waking up on a yo made me feel like I was the girl from Spirited Away. It was one of those increasingly rare moments when I felt like I was in a foreign country.
Anyway, the resort had tons of things to do. There was bowling, swimming, wall climbing, pool tables, the Alpine slider (I'll get to this bad boy in just a second), golfing, noraebang, and a Family Mart (Korean 7-11) that turned out to be pretty significant as it was the only place that sold liquor.
I think the first thing we did was buy tickets for the Alpine slider. It was 6,000 won each per ticket, which paid for a ski lift ride up and a sled down on a fast winding slide built into the mountain. I went down a few times and crashed my sled one or two times. Like, real serious crashes that have me grieving the loss of about twenty layers of skin on each elbow.
Somewhere in there I went bowling and ate an outdoor Korean BBQ for dinner. We tried to get into the resort's noraebang but they weren't having it. We were turned away until the only option left was to bring the party to one of the rooms.
Well, all of this is probably in the wrong order. The important thing to remember was that Saturday felt never-ending and was just...ridiculous. I don't have a lot of pictures for the blog, but there are plenty on facebook, which most of you have.
For those (two? three?) of you who read my blog religiously, I wrote a while back about an upcoming paintballing and resort weekend. Time sure does fly, and this past weekend was that weekend. A big group of us foreign teachers went to a place called Yangji Pine Resort.
We left Dongtan at 8:30 in the morning. It was the earliest I've woken up for anything since I got here. We took a couple buses to a paintballing place first. It was kind of in some forests in the mountains, so we were all running around shooting each other in the middle of the woods. It was a blast. Hiding out and shooting a gun, I felt like Rambo.
After about four or five games we trekked out of the woods and back into the buses to head for lunch—well, if you can call it lunch—it was more like soju with some dalk galbi on the side. Needless to say, the order of things gets kind of hazy around lunchtime.
After lunch we went to the resort and checked into the rooms. We had three rooms for the whole group to share: two smaller rooms and one large two-floor loft room. There were plenty of yos (thick mats), blankets and pillows for everyone. In the morning, the heated floors and waking up on a yo made me feel like I was the girl from Spirited Away. It was one of those increasingly rare moments when I felt like I was in a foreign country.
Anyway, the resort had tons of things to do. There was bowling, swimming, wall climbing, pool tables, the Alpine slider (I'll get to this bad boy in just a second), golfing, noraebang, and a Family Mart (Korean 7-11) that turned out to be pretty significant as it was the only place that sold liquor.
I think the first thing we did was buy tickets for the Alpine slider. It was 6,000 won each per ticket, which paid for a ski lift ride up and a sled down on a fast winding slide built into the mountain. I went down a few times and crashed my sled one or two times. Like, real serious crashes that have me grieving the loss of about twenty layers of skin on each elbow.
Somewhere in there I went bowling and ate an outdoor Korean BBQ for dinner. We tried to get into the resort's noraebang but they weren't having it. We were turned away until the only option left was to bring the party to one of the rooms.
Well, all of this is probably in the wrong order. The important thing to remember was that Saturday felt never-ending and was just...ridiculous. I don't have a lot of pictures for the blog, but there are plenty on facebook, which most of you have.
April 12, 2009
cherry blossoms
Today I went to the Cherry Blossom Festival in Yeouido, an island on the Han River (in Seoul). The pictures speak for themselves. Also, an article from the front page of today's Post. It's really long but so interesting.
N. Korean Defectors Bewildered By the South
By Blaine Harden
Washington Post Foreign Service
Sunday, April 12, 2009; Page A01
ANSEONG, South Korea -- To flee North Korea and arrive in the rich, wired, consuming culture of South Korea is to feel clueless, fearful and guilty.
Teenagers are particularly bewildered. As part of the newest wave in a decade-old flow of defectors from the North, they arrive stunted from malnutrition and struggling to read. At the movies for the first time, they panic when the lights go down, afraid someone might kidnap them. They find it incredible that money is stored in plastic credit cards. Pizza, hot dogs and hamburgers -- staples of South Korean teen cuisine -- give them indigestion. One gargled with liquid fabric softener, mistaking it for mouthwash.
In time, they wise up and their stomachs calm down. Their guilt, though, tends to fester.
"When I eat something that is really delicious, I can't help but feel guilty about my family back in North Korea," said Lee J.Y., who asked that her full name not be used because she was afraid that North Korean authorities would punish her family for her freedom. Now 20, Lee escaped five years ago from North Hamgyong province, where her little brother died of hunger and where she survived on cake made of pine-tree bark.
Defectors in the late 1990s were mostly young men without families. They could swim or sneak across the border into China. In recent years, though, about 80 percent of defectors have been middle-aged women, many with children in tow. Most of these women were traders -- and in many cases, cross-border smugglers -- for the private markets that have spread across North Korea. Often, they bribed their way across the border.
They filter into South Korea at the rate of about 35 a week, usually after months or years in China and an arduous detour through Vietnam, Burma or Thailand. About 15,000 defectors have settled in the South, with 4,000 arriving in the past two years.
Seoul does not encourage North Koreans to defect. But once they arrive, the South Korean government quietly grants them citizenship, gives them an apartment and tries to teach them how not to sink in an education-obsessed capitalist culture.
Trusting No One
"Everyone who defects has adjustment problems," said Ko Gyoung-bin, director-general of a settlement center called Hanowan, a government-financed cluster of red-brick buildings perched in hill country about 70 miles south of Seoul.
All adult defectors are required to spend three months at Hanowan, where they receive psychiatric counseling, learn their rights under South Korean law, take driving lessons and go on field trips to department stores, banks and subways.
Teenage defectors spend two months to two years at nearby Hangyoreh Middle-High School, a remedial boarding school the government built three years ago to help the increasing number of newly arrived youngsters who are unfit for public schools. Many have been out of school for years and have difficulty with basic reading and math.
"All I learned in school in North Korea was that Kim Jong Il was the best leader and that North Korea was the best country," said Lee, who is in her final year at Hangyoreh and hopes to become an English teacher. [If you want to keep reading, click here for the rest.]
April 06, 2009
gyeryong-san
On Thursday my friend mentioned he wanted to go hiking on Saturday, and it just sounded nice so I asked to come along. Not to mention I'm in serious need of a vacation, and jumped at the chance to get out of town. It took a couple different trains and bus rides (one local route was quite long) to get us there, but after a few hours we arrived at a small village situated in a valley at the base of Gyeryong Mountain.
Gyeryongsan National Park was I-cannot-believe-my-eyes beautiful. I didn't remember my camera. Typical. The place was dreamy enough that memories will be, well, enough.
On Saturday we got in too late to do a long hike. Instead we oriented ourselves on the main path, which would serve as a base for the temples and the dirt trails branching deeper into the trees and up the mountain.
The park is home to a cloister of female monks. To be in the presence of those monks felt like a tiny gift. We came upon one of the colorful temples on a hill off of the main path. Walking up the steps, we met a young Korean man who told us we could take off our shoes and come inside. He gave us two prayer mats to kneel on. Tom had previously done a temple stay and showed me how to do a proper bow. I didn't feel worthy of doing this in the presence of the monks, but they were so kind. (They even gifted us a couple of homemade rice cakes.)
I have read about first encounters with monks, how they radiate inner goodness, emanate depth, serenity, and compassion. Words are impossible to describe the feeling you get just being near these people. I think being in the temple with them and near them all weekend washed away a lot of the anxieties I'd built up over the past few months.
We said goodbye to the monks and continued on the main path. My first taste of Korean-style hiking was an uphill trail, moving alongside and against the thin flow of streams and waterfalls that collected in calm pools. But already the sun was setting, and shadows dimmed the way ahead. We turned around to head back to the village.
An adorable touristy area was directly off the main entrance, with only a handful of shops, restaurants, hotels and noraebangs (of all things) nestled inside cozy mountain views.
We ate dinner in a building shaped as a giant mushroom. It looked ridiculously cute in the setting. The food was overpriced, but the portions and flavors were spectacular. I felt like I was transported back in time, and the feeling didn't go away until we took the bus home the next day.
You know when you go to see a movie you know nothing about and it turns out it's one of the best movies ever made, and it's just that much better because you went in with absolutely no expectations? Well, the park was exactly like that. I had no idea what to expect and it was an unforgettable setting and experience.
After dinner we booked a room in the village, then explored the shops and buildings. It kind of turns into a party town after dark. A handful of carnival game stalls, young Koreans drinking and having a blast. We sat outside and drank soju until it got too cold. We set our alarms for early in the morning to have more time for hiking.
In the morning I realized what a gorgeous view we had from the hotel window. It's blasphemy, but I think for a second there I loved that park more than I love Yellowstone.
We purchased a couple of hiking sticks from the village before heading back up the mountain. We planned to hike up, catch the view from a sharp peak, then travel back down the other side. The hike was hard. I was carrying a pack, and it was arduous uphill for the first half, then steep downhill for the second half. There was a cool, scary part where we actually had to climb a rope to get up a very steep section of the trail. In Korea, hiking trails are created by the monks, who direct the route by laying a path of large stones. Proper hiking shoes, with sturdy soles, are important--it's not like you're walking on a cloud for hours on end. I was wearing plain old sneakers. Oops.
Near the peak was a hermitage that served as a sort of rest area for hikers. Around it were a couple of old pagodas with brightly-colored lanterns, a spring for drinking water, a small temple, and outhouses. The monk living there allowed any passersby access to all of "his" things. I filled my empty water bottle and we snacked on our rice cakes while enjoying the afternoon's first sign of civilization.
We had nearly reached the peak when the trail turned into a set of steep metal staircases that connected to one another as they embraced the mountain's ever-narrowing top. I can only guess how these modern-ish staircases got to be so high up there in the middle of a time warp in nature. The peak was at the tippety-top, just as the mountain ran out of dirt and turned into sky. Terrifying and magnificent and totally worth the sweat, blood and tears. The view was intimate and like nothing I've ever seen before - mountains so near, close enough to touch, and death just a step ahead in all directions. I'm afraid of heights; I was shaking with fear of falling. Over 24 hours later and I'm still wide awake from the adrenaline rush.
A couple more hermitages were scattered in the mountains along the trail. I couldn't get the idea out of my head of these extraordinary people who decide to spend their lives in such simple, lovely seclusion.
I was sad to leave. But work today was so much easier after even that short vacation. It's all about quality and not quantity. I hope this feeling lasts all week. I was planning on going to the DMZ, but now that North Korea is acting a fool I don't know if I'll ever get up the nerve to go. We'll see...
Gyeryongsan National Park was I-cannot-believe-my-eyes beautiful. I didn't remember my camera. Typical. The place was dreamy enough that memories will be, well, enough.
On Saturday we got in too late to do a long hike. Instead we oriented ourselves on the main path, which would serve as a base for the temples and the dirt trails branching deeper into the trees and up the mountain.
The park is home to a cloister of female monks. To be in the presence of those monks felt like a tiny gift. We came upon one of the colorful temples on a hill off of the main path. Walking up the steps, we met a young Korean man who told us we could take off our shoes and come inside. He gave us two prayer mats to kneel on. Tom had previously done a temple stay and showed me how to do a proper bow. I didn't feel worthy of doing this in the presence of the monks, but they were so kind. (They even gifted us a couple of homemade rice cakes.)
I have read about first encounters with monks, how they radiate inner goodness, emanate depth, serenity, and compassion. Words are impossible to describe the feeling you get just being near these people. I think being in the temple with them and near them all weekend washed away a lot of the anxieties I'd built up over the past few months.
We said goodbye to the monks and continued on the main path. My first taste of Korean-style hiking was an uphill trail, moving alongside and against the thin flow of streams and waterfalls that collected in calm pools. But already the sun was setting, and shadows dimmed the way ahead. We turned around to head back to the village.
An adorable touristy area was directly off the main entrance, with only a handful of shops, restaurants, hotels and noraebangs (of all things) nestled inside cozy mountain views.
We ate dinner in a building shaped as a giant mushroom. It looked ridiculously cute in the setting. The food was overpriced, but the portions and flavors were spectacular. I felt like I was transported back in time, and the feeling didn't go away until we took the bus home the next day.
You know when you go to see a movie you know nothing about and it turns out it's one of the best movies ever made, and it's just that much better because you went in with absolutely no expectations? Well, the park was exactly like that. I had no idea what to expect and it was an unforgettable setting and experience.
I felt like lying down by the side of the trail and remembering it all. The woods do that to you, they always look familiar, long lost, like the face of a long-dead relative, like an old dream, like a piece of forgotten song drifting across the water, most of all like golden eternities of past childhood or past manhood and all the living and the dying and the heartbreak that went on a million years ago and the clouds as they pass overhead seem to testify (by their own lonesome familiarity) to this feeling. Ecstacy, even, I felt, with flashes of sudden remembrance, and feeling sweaty and drowsy I felt like sleeping and dreaming in the grass.
After dinner we booked a room in the village, then explored the shops and buildings. It kind of turns into a party town after dark. A handful of carnival game stalls, young Koreans drinking and having a blast. We sat outside and drank soju until it got too cold. We set our alarms for early in the morning to have more time for hiking.
In the morning I realized what a gorgeous view we had from the hotel window. It's blasphemy, but I think for a second there I loved that park more than I love Yellowstone.
We purchased a couple of hiking sticks from the village before heading back up the mountain. We planned to hike up, catch the view from a sharp peak, then travel back down the other side. The hike was hard. I was carrying a pack, and it was arduous uphill for the first half, then steep downhill for the second half. There was a cool, scary part where we actually had to climb a rope to get up a very steep section of the trail. In Korea, hiking trails are created by the monks, who direct the route by laying a path of large stones. Proper hiking shoes, with sturdy soles, are important--it's not like you're walking on a cloud for hours on end. I was wearing plain old sneakers. Oops.
Near the peak was a hermitage that served as a sort of rest area for hikers. Around it were a couple of old pagodas with brightly-colored lanterns, a spring for drinking water, a small temple, and outhouses. The monk living there allowed any passersby access to all of "his" things. I filled my empty water bottle and we snacked on our rice cakes while enjoying the afternoon's first sign of civilization.
We had nearly reached the peak when the trail turned into a set of steep metal staircases that connected to one another as they embraced the mountain's ever-narrowing top. I can only guess how these modern-ish staircases got to be so high up there in the middle of a time warp in nature. The peak was at the tippety-top, just as the mountain ran out of dirt and turned into sky. Terrifying and magnificent and totally worth the sweat, blood and tears. The view was intimate and like nothing I've ever seen before - mountains so near, close enough to touch, and death just a step ahead in all directions. I'm afraid of heights; I was shaking with fear of falling. Over 24 hours later and I'm still wide awake from the adrenaline rush.
A couple more hermitages were scattered in the mountains along the trail. I couldn't get the idea out of my head of these extraordinary people who decide to spend their lives in such simple, lovely seclusion.
I was sad to leave. But work today was so much easier after even that short vacation. It's all about quality and not quantity. I hope this feeling lasts all week. I was planning on going to the DMZ, but now that North Korea is acting a fool I don't know if I'll ever get up the nerve to go. We'll see...
March 29, 2009
different dimension
Last Sunday I went to a soccer game in Suwon with a few friends. We rooted for Suwon. They played Jeju, an island off the southern coast of Korea. There wasn't a huge crowd, but the fans chanted and waved flags the whole time, so it was loud and fun anyway. We lost to Jeju. There was only one goal scored the whole game. It was a cheap, good time. Unlike sports venues in good ol' America, the stadium charged normal prices for people to enjoy beer and snacks. When I say normal, I mean, not a penny more than we'd pay at the grocery store.
Like the last week of every month, this week was report card week. I had almost forty students this month, so writing all those kept me nice and busy.
The weather in Korea is a lot like the weather at home; the climate is pretty much identical. So naturally my allergies are acting up with the onset of spring. I feel alright but I sound like Steve Urkel and I had to blow my nose every five minutes during class all week. My kids were pretty understanding, I really appreciated them this week. If only I could be sick and make them feel sorry for me every week!
Yesterday I went to Suwon and walked around the Hwaseong Fortress. It was an almost 6 kilometer walk. My legs hurt so much they practically went numb by the end. The fortress is a UNESCO World Heritage site. It's basically a fortified wall that was built in the 1700's and surrounds the main part of Suwon. The whole walk has amazing views of the mountains and city. Suwon has some really run down buildings with lots of character. Some people there live in houses that are quite literally falling apart. I don't see poverty in my town. It's so perfect and new and full of middle class families. I like getting out and seeing what real Korean towns are like.
The fortress was beautiful in retrospect. The walk was exhausting, but that's only because my body has less energy while I'm sick. I'll definitely be going back when I'm back to normal and it's warmer.
Last night I had dinner and drinks to celebrate the birthdays (plural) of an awesome couple here. Troy is Korean and Joanne is American. Being married to a Korean and living here for like ten years, she's fluent in Korean. Anyway she's amazing because she plans trips for all the foreigners in town. In a couple weeks I'll be going on an overnight paintballing and outdoorsy thing she planned at a resort nearby. That's the next big thing I'm looking forward to. Okay, below are pictures from my weekend. I'll let the captions do the talking for me for this entry.
Like the last week of every month, this week was report card week. I had almost forty students this month, so writing all those kept me nice and busy.
The weather in Korea is a lot like the weather at home; the climate is pretty much identical. So naturally my allergies are acting up with the onset of spring. I feel alright but I sound like Steve Urkel and I had to blow my nose every five minutes during class all week. My kids were pretty understanding, I really appreciated them this week. If only I could be sick and make them feel sorry for me every week!
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Yesterday I went to Suwon and walked around the Hwaseong Fortress. It was an almost 6 kilometer walk. My legs hurt so much they practically went numb by the end. The fortress is a UNESCO World Heritage site. It's basically a fortified wall that was built in the 1700's and surrounds the main part of Suwon. The whole walk has amazing views of the mountains and city. Suwon has some really run down buildings with lots of character. Some people there live in houses that are quite literally falling apart. I don't see poverty in my town. It's so perfect and new and full of middle class families. I like getting out and seeing what real Korean towns are like.
The fortress was beautiful in retrospect. The walk was exhausting, but that's only because my body has less energy while I'm sick. I'll definitely be going back when I'm back to normal and it's warmer.
Last night I had dinner and drinks to celebrate the birthdays (plural) of an awesome couple here. Troy is Korean and Joanne is American. Being married to a Korean and living here for like ten years, she's fluent in Korean. Anyway she's amazing because she plans trips for all the foreigners in town. In a couple weeks I'll be going on an overnight paintballing and outdoorsy thing she planned at a resort nearby. That's the next big thing I'm looking forward to. Okay, below are pictures from my weekend. I'll let the captions do the talking for me for this entry.
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